Quotes of the week

Sunday Mirror (Northern Ireland) - - News -

You’re a big girl’s blouse

Boris John­son taunts Jeremy Cor­byn for re­fus­ing to hold an


We can all do bet­ter

Glo­be­trot­ting Prince Harry de­fends us­ing pri­vate jets — af­ter fly­ing to Am­s­ter­dam for a cli­mate con­fer­ence.

I just don’t think they like Elvis

Elvis im­per­son­ator Dean Hol­land gets a noise abate­ment or­der for up­set­ting neigh­bours by

sing­ing in his kitchen.

Sorry, I don’t think the ple­siosaur idea holds up

Sci­en­tist Neil Gem­mell says DNA sam­ples show the Loch Ness mon­ster is

prob­a­bly a giant eel.

Be­fore we be­come ex­tinct, we felt we ought to have a get-to­gether

Publi­can Nigel Smith plans a world-record gath­er­ing of men called Nigel amid fears the

name is dy­ing out.

Leave the sing­ing to me, that’s

all I ask

Tom Jones on

plans for a film of his life

Of course I feel guilt

Ex-host Jeremy Pax­man ad­mits he was too tough

on News­night guests.

I’ve drunk a lot of beers — but I’ve never spent this much be­fore

Aussie sportswrit­er Peter

Lalor is ac­ci­den­tally charged £56,000 for a

£5.50 bot­tle of IPA.

If you’re all right for one of your pi­lots to look like this to­day, we’ll go to Al­i­cante

Off-duty easyJet pi­lot

Michael Bradley quits his pas­sen­ger seat to man the con­trols.

It’s ab­so­lutely be­yond our ex­pec­ta­tions... to find it in lit­tle old Box­ford is some­thing

His­to­rian Joy Ap­ple­ton un­veils a 1,700-year-old Ro­man mo­saic, the only one of its kind in Britain,

in a Berk­shire vil­lage.

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