How to cope with your grief

person who has died. Lianna Champ says: “You wish you could have changed things or said something different, and you hold yourself in a place of regret.

“It’s like driving a car with the handbrake on. But if you could have one more conversation with the person who has died, what would you ask them and what would you tell them?

“Write it in a letter, being as honest as you can – you don’t have to share it.

“Do it with a box of tissues on hand and let yourself cry. It hurts – let it.”

Reach out for support

Employing the British stiff upper lip is the worst thing you can do while grieving. Says Carole Henderson: “My motto is, ‘Don’t be strong, be human’. Tell another person what’s in your heart, even if it is just you miss them.

“It’s about being heard, sharing that feeling to let your feelings be normal.”

Find one person who will listen to you without judgment and who you can be honest with.

If you feel uncomfortable talking to a relative or friend, there are professionals and peer support groups on hand, even with the restrictions.

The Good Grief Trust runs pop-up cafes around the country to connect the bereaved community, and these have moved online for the pandemic.

You can also find supportive Facebook and WhatsApp groups. Linda Magistris says: “Connecting with others who have suffered loss gives mental and physical release. Keeping grief in is like a pressure cooker.”

Don’t expect a quick fix

We are told time is a great healer and that grief goes in five stages, but experts say this intellectualisation of the process is very unhelpful and there are no quick fixes.

“Do things in your own time, there’s no rush,” says Linda. “Grief is unique, you have to do what is right for you – there is no ‘should’.

“We have people coming to us for help who lost someone 20 years ago. If you don’t have support early on, the feelings can come back in difficult times such as this pandemic.

“There are no stages to grief, it’s for ever – but you learn to manage it and to see a positive future.”

Where to get help

National Covid-19 NHS Bereavement Helpline 0800 2600 400

The Good Grief Trust thegoodgrieftrust.org

Cruse Bereavement Care 0808 808 1677 cruse.org.uk

Bereavement Trust 0800 435 455 bereavement-trust.org.uk

Child Bereavement UK 0800 02 888 40 childbereavementuk.org

HARMONY PRENATAL TEST. Supporters say parents get more accurate results on the risk of genetic conditions in an unborn baby. Critics fear it will lead to more terminations of those detected with Down syndrome.