FOOTBALL’S FIRST TRANSGENDER I just hope the world will accept me for the person I want to be
FOOTBALL’S only transgender referee will take to the pitch this afternoon for the first time under her new identity.
Lucy Clark, 46, has been known as Nick in the world of soccer for years and admits being nervous about fans’ reaction today.
But she tells the Sunday Mirror: “I hope the world accepts me for the person I am.”
Happily married and with three children, Lucy adds: “I have kept this secret hidden away most of my life. Now is the time to be
“I can appreciate people will be a bit shocked when I run on to the pitch.
“But I’m the same person. I will just look a bit different. It’ll be nice not to live in two different worlds and be me.
“I want to inspire others to be who they are.”
Lucy’s decision to live as a woman follows a 30-year gender struggle which pushed her to the brink.
Her amazing transition is fully backed by the Football Association.
In the first part of a remarkable interview, Lucy tells how:
Football saved her life as she struggled to become her true self, even attempting suicide.
Wife Avril is continuing to support her and will be at today’s game.
She dreams of refereeing matches at a higher level.
Lucy, who works as a black cab driver and lives in Surrey, happily posed for pictures and clutched Avril’s hand as she told her story.
Avril has stood by Lucy since she told her, one drunken night 18 years ago, that she was a woman trapped in a man’s body.
LOVE
They remain in love and believe their future as a couple remains as bright as ever.
They share make-up tips and enjoy clothes shopping together.
But as a semi-professional football referee, it is Lucy’s job to go about her work without being noticed.
And while family and close pals know she is transitioning, those in the macho world of football don’t – which leaves her plagued with doubt.
Lucy’s left hand, clasped in Avril’s, shakes as she talks openly for the first time about the future.
Smiling nervously, she says: “It’s going to be awkward.
“Players I can deal with. I can just give red or yellow cards to them. It’s the fans – that’s where the issues could come.
“I’m preparing myself for the derogatory comments. I don’t want to lose my control and I don’t want to be putting complaints into clubs about the behaviour of their fans.
“I’m a bit concerned. If I’ve suddenly got 200 people shouting stuff about me I don’t know how I’ll react.
“But I am thick-skinned, you’ve got to be.
“We’re doing voice coaching but that’ll be interesting on the pitch.
“I still need a strong voice while reffing but I’m thinking how I can make the whistle talk more. But that’s not my game though, I’m vocal.”
Lucy reveals how doubts about her true identity first surfaced when she was a child. She goes on: “I knew something wasn’t quite right when I was seven.
“I didn’t feel like the others kids at my boys’ school. I yearned to be at the girls’ school with my sister.
“I didn’t want to do what boys did so I threw myself into football because that’s what a boy should do.”
It was the love of the sport that came to Lucy’s rescue in her time of need. And it will lead her to changing history today. She adds: “Some of my best friends don’t know. A referee friend popped around for a cup of tea this week. I had to get changed quick and put a baggy T-shirt on.
“No one chooses to be transgender. It’s not cool. Everyone who is wishes they weren’t, but I am who I am and this is the stick life has dealt me.”
STRUGGLED
Lucy’s life has been a tough one to navigate. In her teens she struggled to cope with the changes puberty made to her body and feelings that surfaced.
Questioning who she was, suicidal thoughts washed over her. And at 15 she tried to take her own life. She recalls: “I used to go to sleep and wish I’d never wake up.
“There used to be a big block of flats on the road where I lived. On more than one occasion I’d stand on the top of it and thought about ending it all.
“I took tablets and drank alcohol. I ended up having my stomach pumped. A ridiculously high percentage of transgender people attempt suicide. How many succeeded, we don’t know.”
Lucy hopes that by talking more about the transgender issue fewer people will feel so lost and helpless.
“We are better now than 30 years ago and I hope it improves in the next 30 years. Me speaking out, hopefully, can make a difference,” she says.
Avril helped Lucy feel truly comfortable in who she was. The pair enjoy dressing up and going on nights out in London and Milton Keynes.
And during our interview Lucy grows in confidence simply by telling her story. She reveals the next step is gender reassignment surgery,