Spending sprees? I wouldn’t bank on it
Good thing ballot papers going out this weekend are only for choosing a PM and not a bank manager. Spending pledges by Boris Johnson and Jeremy Hunt add up to £100billion in wonga we don’t have in our current account.
If, like me, you struggle with any figure longer than six digits let’s put that mighty overdraft into some sort of perspective.
Lay 100 billion pound coins end to end and they would go round the Earth six times or stretch two-thirds of the way to the Moon. It’s enough to pay Gary Lineker’s £1.75million BBC salary for the next 57,000 years.
We could build 166 fully-equipped, 400-bed hospitals or 2,857 secondary schools or, while we’re on BBC pay, buy 130,000 years of Claudia Winkleman’s time.
Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell calculates this divvies up into £57billion for Johnson and £43billion for Hunt.
And to compound their careless felonies he says: “This proves austerity was a political choice for the Conservatives and not an economic necessity.”
It also proves, John, they’re
making this up as they go along to put cash signs in the eyes of 160,000 Tory members in exchange for votes.
I took the two candidates to task for some monstrous spending plans last Sunday, which prompted Philip Hammond to give Boris and the Huntsman a rocket the following day. Thanks for reading, Phil.
The Chancellor said: “The promises made so far greatly exceed the fiscal headroom.” Which, when translated into English, means: “There ain’t the dosh, you muppets.”
So far Johnson says he’ll slash income tax, hire 20,000 cops, hike school spending, broaden broadband and pay public sector workers more. Hunt wants to cut business taxes, give farmers £6billion, buy more arms, and cap student loans.
Any or all of those proposals might be popular. But it’s like going to the supermarket for £ 100 worth of groceries when your credit card is up to its limit and there’s only a tenner in your purse.
I can’t call just two contenders a shower even though that’s what they are.
So when Tor y members elect one of these drips they have an awesome responsibility.
They’re not just choosing an opposition leader, which wouldn’t be so bad, but the man who might rule Britain until the 2022 General Election.
There are 45,775,800 UK electors which means each Conservative Party member represents 286 voters.
They should canvass widely to help them choose the best man for the job. Their party’s reputation is on the line.
After all, you wouldn’t do business with a bank which recklessly hired a wrong’un to mind your money.
We could buy 130,000 years of Claudia’s time on TV Morecambe and Lunesdale Tory MP David Morris tells me he’s had a second wheelie bin stolen from outside his home in Heysham, Lancs. This was particularly galling as he’d just paid £20 to replace the first. Suspicion fell on political opponents. Surely not. The bins just had their own Momentum.