Kids top-class even if they’re not winners
If teachers had a prize for bravery in the face of hay fever, my son would win it hands down. With nose streaming, eyes stinging and throat burning, he hasn’t missed a day of school or even skipped PE.
And what of the smartest girl in Year 3? My daughter would be No1 choice. Every time.
But, as far as school goes, my kids are not prize-worthy, they’re pretty average, middle of the road. And there are no prizes for that. The poor things take after me. End-of-term Prize-giving Day brings back memories of never being good enough at anything.
I dreaded it. I watched kids going up, being clapped and cheered – and hoped they might call my name out.
But they never did.
But, if there is one thing life has taught me, it is that what happens to you at school does not define you for the rest of your years.
Many award winners don’t go on to become rocket scientists or significant movers and shakers.
And, for an average kid, I’d say I’ve done pretty well.
But knowing all this still can’t prepare you for the pangs of injustice when your kid’s name does not get called out.
I thought I was going to be one of those parents who could handle their kids not winning.
But, just like my parents used
to, all I can do is look over at them with a smile during the ceremony to boost their morale.
But they stare back in horror with a look that says: “It’s not working, Mum, it’s making us feel worse.”
And then I get disappointed that they are disappointed.
I did feel the whole prize-giving thing was a bit unfair. I noticed a consistent pattern. Year on year it was the same kids who won.
The ones whose parents could afford tutors after school.
My mum and dad, immigrants to this country, couldn’t speak English, so could not help me much.
How was I ever going to compete with a kid whose parents not only spoke the language, but helped them with homework every night, read to them and could afford after-care clubs?
So I put things right this year by surprising Zac and Amara with our own special day.
I told them: “I don’t really care if you don’t get a prize this year, even if you go through your whole school life not winning.
“Mummy and Daddy never got any prizes.”
Anyway, spare me the violins and I’ll spare you the rest of the speech...
Afterwards, when we gave Zac a football and Amara glitter tattoos, the smile on our prize guys’ faces said it all.
So for all parents with kids who never win – shower them with words of encouragement and praise.
That is what will give them the confidence and self-esteem to win at life. Next time you find yourself in a no-win situation, think of 15-year-old Couri ‘Coco’ Gauff who accomplished the seemingly impossible this week by beating five-times Wimbledon champion Venus Williams. Still in her teens, she has made history and can’t quite believe it. She told the
BBC: “That’s the first time I have ever cried after winning a match. I don’t even know how to explain how I feel. I am literally living my dream right now, and not many people get to say that.” And now she’s through to the last 16. Congratulations, Coco. You are ACE!