Party PM has a hot date... with disaster
Let’s party like it’s 1834, as the Artist Formerly Known As Prince didn’t quite sing. On Wednesday, the politician formerly known as Boris will be addressed by all as Prime Minister.
No one will call Boris Johnson by his first name any more as befits his new status.
And it should be quite a party in No10 if young lover Carrie Symonds has anything to do with it.
But if guests really want to see history buff Bor... sorry, the Prime Minister, go into one of his legendary meltdowns, just mention 1834 to him.
That’s when Britain had a record four prime ministers in a year after Earl Grey got... er... teed off and quit in July. Viscount Melbourne lasted until November, and the Duke of Wellington met his Waterloo 23 days later before Sir Robert Peel took over in December.
Melbourne was the last PM to be dismissed by a king who hated his reforming ways. You may remember Jenna Coleman in ITV’s Victoria falling in love with Rufus Sewell’s version of him. Now MPs predict a Johnson premier
ship could lead to similar upheaval. He’ll likely only be in post as long as some of the 1834 crew.
Johnson is staking his premiership on his “do or die” promise to get out of the EU on October 31, the kind of rash populist pledge Donald Trump would make.
No one in the House of Commons, at least no one sensible whether Labour or Tory, thinks that’s possible. For starters, there isn’t time to negotiate a new deal.
Europe goes on holiday next month so no work can be done until September. That leaves the option of running the clock down to No Deal. MPs will never allow that.
So our new PM will stamp his feet and thkweem and thkweem and make himthelf thick trying to suspend Parliament.
MPs will also not allow that, as they showed on Thursday by voting against shutdown.
So either the PM will be turfed out on his ear by his own party and there’ll be another Tory leadership contest and/or a no-confidence vote and a General Election.
Even Welfare Secretary Amber Rudd, a late convert to keeping No Deal on the table, believes it wi l l be stopped. She says: “The likelihood is Parliament will find a way.”
That way could be voting for yet another extension or even revoking Article 50 to keep us in the EU. Either way it would be curtains for Johnson.
At this rate you can see Jeremy Hunt getting his shot at PM after all before Jeremy Corbyn has his turn.
And when everyone fails to deliver Brexit, Theresa May can party like it’s July 13, 2016. Her first, and possibly last, truly happy day in power.
He’ll stamp his feet and thkweem & thkweem till he is thick Boris Johnson’s aides deny he’s going grey. But his famous blond mane has been turning funny colours including green under leadership hustings’ fluorescent lights. Tory MP and former hairdresser David Morris thinks this could be because of “ash toner”, better known as a blue rinse. He added: “It’s do or dye.”