DRASTIC MOVE AFTER COURT ORDER WE FLED ABROAD.. TO SAVE KIDS FROM OUR VIOLENT EXES Our demands
partner, who was later found hanged.
The mum said: “Everyone told me, ‘ You can’t let your son live with him. He’ ll beat him black and blue’.” Another woman told us she was warned by a social worker she’d lose her three-year-old daughter if she didn’t leave her abusive partner – and could face a criminal conviction for failing to protect the toddler.
She did as she was told. But then a guardian appointed by the family court told her that the child would be sent to live with her ex if she didn’t agree to unsupervised access.
The mum said: “You can’t win. It’s hard being in a foreign country, feeling alone and trying to learn the language, but you’ve just got to get on with it.” Another woman endured two years of violence from her ex before they split.
A transcript of text messages shown to the family court showed he admitted to beating her up shortly after she gave birth.
But her world fell apart when their daughter, now eight, alleged he’d sexually abused her during an access visit.
The girl, then three, made similar disclosures to a nursery teacher and a social worker but police said there wasn’t enough evidence to prosecute. The mum packed her bags just hours after a judge said she’d have to hand her daughter over for unsupervised contact or face prison.
Her decision meant she couldn’t visit her beloved stepdad on his deathbed or attend his funeral.
Then her 73- year- old gran was threatened with jail for refusing to reveal the mum’s location to police.
The defiant gran said: “I’d have happily done prison time to protect my great-granddaughter from him.”
Earlier this year the mum returned to the UK alone, leaving her daughter in her gran’s care, and was arrested for child abduction. She spent a night in the cells but a judge discharged the order relating to her child.
However she said: “I feel very let down by a system which treated me like a criminal.”
Refuge chief executive Sandra Horley said: “It’s horrific to think that some women feel they have to flee their home country.
“We need a change to the legal presumption that contact is always in the child’s best interests.”
Shadow Home Office minister Carolyn Harris will table an amendment to the domestic abuse bill, which has its second reading on Wednesday, in response to our probe.
She said: “The current system is making reckless decisions on the access rights of dangerous abusers.”
If you are affected by domestic abuse and need support, visit refuge.org.uk.