Andrea pain taught me a lesson
I feel so guilty... how the heck did I miss that?
She is drop dead gorgeous, successful, great at her job, smart and funny. And I see her on a weekly basis. So imagine my shock – and even my guilt – that I didn’t realise my TV pal Andrea McLean was in turmoil, suffering a breakdown that left her depressed and with suicidal thoughts.
I had no idea she was dealing with such pain. How the heck did I miss that? How can I make sure I don’t miss it ever again should anyone close to me go through something similar?
It was only when I read her book, This Girl Is On Fire, that I learned exactly what My Loose Women friend was going through.
Behind that glossy exterior was a woman experiencing a personal, painful and very private mental health struggle.
The problem is that many of us go about out lives with so much of our own baggage that we don’t always pick up on other people’s cry for help.
Looking back, I feel angry and disappointed at myself for not realising Andrea needed support.
There was a pattern in her behaviour which signalled “something is not quite right”. She was quieter, withdrawn, not participating in the banter, her concentration levels were dipping, she was losing weight and she did just not seem herself.
Now and again I would ask, “you okay, Andrea?” and she would smile and say, “yes, fine”.
After she revealed her pain, I phoned her to apologise for not being eing more attentive. I told her I feel bad, as though I’d let her down wn for not being there for her.
I also asked how I could do things differently in the future – be it for a friend, or a work colleague. Like a trouper, per, Andrea had the answer. wer.
If you suspect somemething is wrong, ask. Send end a text, show an interest. est.
Let them know you are thinking of them. m. Let them know you are there. here.
KINDNESS SS
As Andrea put it, it’s not about grand gestures, it’s about bout tiny acts of love and kindness.
I was humbled. Straight aight away I wrote a few “thinking of you u cards,” to people I know are going through ugh a tough patch and are putting a brave ve face on it.
And in these uncertain rtain Covid times that is the worry – that hat many others are also fronting it out, ut, unsupported, and may eventually buckle under.
Andrea’s book is full ull of tips and practical steps that can n make small but very powerful changes anges to the way you live.
Meanwhile, it’s good od to see my friend smiling again ain and I admire and applaud her for putting her story out there here to help others.