MASTERS OF NOT-DONE DEAL

During the referendum, the Leave Campaign told us Brexit would be the “easiest deal in history”.

Now it appears we could be leaving the EU without a deal with Europe.

This government seems to be unlucky with deals, because this week they couldn’t even do one with Manchester.

Maybe that will go the same way. Next year Boris Johnson will announce Britain has left Manchester, and everything will go smoothly except for 70-mile queues of lorries backing up along the M6 to Stafford.

“It’s not our fault,” he’ll tell us.

“It’s because of the bullying dirty tactics of Oasis and Ole

Gunnar Solskjaer.”

Ministers will declare proudly: “Britain has taken back control.

“We are now free to conclude our own trade deals with other cities.”

But five years later they’ll announce that so far they’ve only reached an agreement with Saxmundham and Stow-on-the-Wold.

Then there will be the problem of the border with Oldham Borough Council.

No one had thought of this and it could lead to a renewed terrorist campaign that spreads as far as Rochdale. Hopefully in the end the Westminster –Manchester squabble will be settled simply – with a boxing match between Michael Gove and Tyson Fury.