Dave McClay Shore winner
Spends a wet weekend in Bognor Regis... and falls in love with the seaside town’s retro glamour
UNWIND Each beach hut has its own private terrace
NAUTICAL One of the Beachcroft Hotel’s beach huts
SEA VIEW Unspoilt beach at Bognor Regis
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Best of all is falling asleep – and waking up to – the sound of the sea
lose your eyes and think of somewhere that makesyou happy… Beach?Check. Waves lapping the shore? Check. Sun? Erm…
Never mind,I can still thoroughly recommend a wetweekend in Bognor. Seriously.
West Sussex may be Britain’s sunniest county but it bucketed it down the entirety of our stay.
More like Wet Sussex.
But it doesn’t matterwhen you’ve scored a winnerwith your accommodation.
One of the BeachcroftHotel’s beautiful chalet-style beach huts is the perfectspotto batten down the hatches. Placed in a prime location next to the beguiling Felpham pebble beach just to the east of Bognor’s town centre,there are four of these swanky blue seafront suites, each withaprivate entrance.
The vista is stunning and can be enjoyed from a private terrace when the sun is out.
But I reckon the view is even better on a windswept daywhen you can take shelter on a plump corner sofa and watch the storm-whipped sea from behind bifold doors.
You’ll feel snug, and a tad smug,watching the waves battering the groynes, furiously flapping gulls fighting the gales, and kite surfers coming a cropper in the swell.
All essentials are provided for rainy days and cosy nights. The lounge area, trendily decorated with colour-popping artwork, hasa Netflix-enabled smart TV, there’s a Nespresso machine and pods, Smeg kettle and complimentary rose wine and a decanter of sloe gin.There is even Monopoly.
Bring the kids. There is a separate room with bunk beds forthem. Adults gettheir own mezzanine master bedroom.
Bring the dog.Pooches are also pampered here,with bed, bowl, treats and toys all on offer. It’s worth mentioning that our suite was spotless, with no signs or smells of any hound habitation before.
Best of all though is falling asleep – and waking up to –the sound of the sea. It’s the stuff that dreams are made of. A mere pebble’s throw away isthe main hotel whereattentive, courteous staff serve up breakfasts and dinners to beach hut guests as part of the B&B package, made with locallysourced ingredients. Choose its a la carte Tamarisk Restaurant, the Bar&Bistro for more casual dining, or treat yourself to afternoon tea in the terrace garden overlooking the sea.The kidswill love using the Beachcroft’s swimming pool, heated to a welcoming 30 degrees and, of course,the beach.
Even on a rotten day, theywon’t be able to resist a swoop on to the shore to chuck in some stones… and you’ll be relieved thatyour
toasty beachside boltholeis just a few steps away.
Thereis a seven-milecoastalpath on your doorstep (bikes arefree to borrow from the hotel). Head east to the pretty townof Littlehampton. It hastwo award-winning beaches and Britain’s longest bench, which flows along the prom, curving around lampposts and twisting up seafront shelters. The rolling chalk hills of the South Downs are just minutes inland. A 10-minute stroll west along the prom gets you to the town centre. Bognor has struggled to shake off the shackles of being lumbered with one of Britain’s most ridiculed place names (shout out to Grimsby too).
It has also been burdened by its withering King George V putdown… “B*gger Bognor” indeed.
Perhaps history would have played out differently had the town been given a slightly more seductive name. I don’t know... something like Hothampton-on-sea.
Oh... it nearly was.
Moneyed merchant-turned-MP Sir Richard Hotham came up with the infinitely more appealing name for the place in the 18th century.
He planned to transform Bognor into THE premium south-coast resort, a sort of riff-raff-free version of Brighton.
It never quite came off. The upgrade name change didn’t stick either.
These days most of the whoops and yelps of excitement are contained inside the white behemoth Butlin’s tent that dominates the town.
But while Bognor may not be buzzing, it is all the better for it.
The seafront feels calming without the crowds, the beach like your own as you take in the invigorating salty air. The pier, or what’s left of it having been reduced from 1,000ft to 350ft during a 150-year struggle with the sea, has retro charm with its slot machines, cafe and chip shop.
There are the ubiquitous ice cream stalls, rock shops and amusements, a seasonal land train runs along the eastern esplanade but it all feels refreshingly unpresuming for a seaside resort.
Up the road Hotham Park, where the aforementioned Bognorphile Sir Richard once resided, is nowa fantastic green space with boating lake, mini golf and a thriving squirrel community.
Sadly Covid restrictions scuppered us from sampling the local hostelries, although there are plenty of tempting options.
So back to the Beach Hut where deliciously fresh fish and chips are ordered to our room.
They always taste better by the sea. And, boy, we can’t get any closer.
Bognor. Call it what you like. You won’t want to wave goodbye.
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The seafront feels calming without the crowds, the beach like your own