PUB RULE BIASED AGAINST DISORGANISED

Pubs are open again, which should be marvellous, but you have to book in advance.

Never mind the ethics of vaccine passports, this is vicious discrimination against the human rights of people like me who are shambolically disorganised.

Now the only ones who can go for a drink are the sort who tell you: “We’ve booked a weekend in Margate for the spring of 2045 because the forecast says it should be dry.”

When you ask someone “fancy a pint?” and they say “yes, that will be lovely”, you’re not supposed to say “all right then, I’ll book a slot for 7.45 on June 9th”.

The whole world is becoming like this. I found out recently the local window cleaner has to be booked online. The WINDOW CLEANER! The website even asked for the measurement of each window in the house, but if you’re going to each window with a tape measure you might as well give them a wipe yourself while you’re up there.

I suppose they’re worried that if they give you a price for the whole house, it will turn out you live in The Shard.

The disorganised among us should revolt, with a demo where we all turn up when we fancy over a period of a year. But most of us will have to go straight home because we left the oven on.