Quality way to Phil TV airtime

Over 100,000 people complained because so many television schedules were rearranged following the death of Prince Philip. But I think not enough shows were changed.

UK Gold should have shown a Wish You Were Here special, in which Judith Chalmers, above, attempts to travel to over 50 nations and insult all of them in under a day.

And Sky Sports should have cancelled its football and, out of respect, shown old footage of International Game Hunting with Jamie Carragher as a pundit,

»

Apparently Strictly Come Dancing will ask Covid man Chris Whitty to appear on this year’s show, as mocked up above. This would be a brilliant choice, as the big scandal won’t be if he’s caught kissing his dancer, but if he forgets to wash his hands before the tango and gives her a new Angolan variant of coronavirus.

saying: “The problem the rhino has is he keeps backing off, and against a hunter of Philip’s class, you just can’t give him that much space.”