Top draw film attractions coming soon
We’re allowed inside places again, wahooo. For nearly five weeks, I’ve sat outside so many pubs and cafés, determined to be happy while frostbite eats my fingers.
But now cinemas are open, and they’ll be packed, whatever’s on.
They could put on an art film called Curtains, in which you look at the curtains for two hours. Or a hardcore porn film starring Donald Trump. Or a dramatised version of the instruction manual that comes with a kettle.
And everyone would sit there delighted, and if they were asked to write a review, they’d put: “It was open and warm. Five stars.”