A-peeling way to holiday
Edward Gleave weeps tears of joy at Switzerland’s eye-watering kooky festival
Every November, more than 100,000 tourists flock to the Swiss capital for its annual onion market. Yes – you read it right – the centre of Bern is taken over by around 650 stalls devoted to the versatile veg, a tradition dating back to 1850. And it’s quite a phenomenon.
Traders come from all over Switzerland and the south of Germany to set up shop for the Zibelemärit festival, with the first sales as early as 4am.
Always held on the fourth
Monday of the month, they sell onions in just about every form you can imagine. Dishes on offer include onion pie, onion soup, onion pizza, and sausages with, you guessed it…
But that’s not all – because raw onions are also on sale in countless different guises. The most common are strings of onions fashioned into intricate plaits.
And then there are onions decorated to look like everything from people to animals. Some are in little hats, others have props. Onions as mice, rabbits, cats. Alliums here are simply brimming with artistry.
The day is also a celebration, with parties starting first thing in the morning and continuing all day – there’s even an onion rave late into the night.
There’s plenty of confetti too… mountains more than you’ve ever seen at any wedding.
Revellers buy giant bags of the stuff and fling it at each other in big clumps until the floor is entirely covered.
Around 4pm, a full-on confetti fight breaks out – and it’s customary to bang people on the head with a plastic hammer…
Throughout the day it’s estimated 50 tons of onions and garlic are sold. And while these aromatic bulbs are known for their healthgiving properties, Switzerland’s other famous product certainly provides the feelgood factor.
High-quality Swiss milk chocolate is renowned around the world. A short train ride from Bern, chocolate factory Casa Nobile in Bätterkinden gives those with a sweet tooth the chance to live out their fantasy.
Away from the hustle and bustle of the main shopping street on my pre-pandemic trip, it’s a real-life version of Willy Wonka’s empire, complete with taps that continually dispense chocolate.
You’re even allowed to put your finger under and enjoy a taste.
The firm runs two-hour chocolate workshops with experts on hand to help you make bars from liquid chocolate and a table of ingredients.
You can even customise your creation with piping.
Its bespoke bars, chocolates and truffles, which come beautifully wrapped, are available to buy in the shop, and make excellent gifts.
Back in Bern, the Hotel Schweizerhof offers old-fashioned, five-star service with modern luxuries, following a lavish renovation in 2011.
Located on Bahnhofplatz, just steps away from Bern’s central railway station, the upper floors of this grande dame reveal views of the Swiss parliament.
Its 99 rooms and suites are immaculate with designer lamps, statement chairs and geometricprint wallpaper, and all come with robes and slippers, enormous beds and Bulgari toiletries.
Throughout its 161-year history, the Schweizerhof has carved out a reputation for being one of the plushest hotels in Bern. Superstars including Liz Taylor, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly and Diego Maradona have been among its famous guests.
A scene from James Bond classic On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
At 4pm it’s customary to bang people on the head with a plastic hammer
was filmed on the balcony of room 411. The hotel also boasts the stunning Sky Terrace, which is busy even during the winter months, thanks to the newly installed Tubbo restaurant – a transparent outdoor bubble.
There’s also a ballroom which hosts regular events – including one to celebrate the annual onion market – as well as a spa with a room of waterbeds, a cigar room and a 24-hour gym.
Jack’s Brasserie at the Schweizerhof is one of the best dining options in the whole of Bern. Designed like a Viennese coffee house, with striped booths and Art Nouveau fittings, it has a seasonal menu of European cuisine on offer as well as a daily market menu.
One of the signature dishes is the wiener schnitzel, or Viennese cutlet, which is seasoned and cooked to perfection. Another highlight is the grilled lobster, which comes partly out of the shell so there’s no mess involved.
The cocktail list includes concoctions inspired by Bern, ideal for sipping while taking in views across the medieval old town and all the way to the Alps.
One thing’s certain – when it comes to living life well, they know their onions in Bern.
The 2020 Bern Onion Market (Zibelemärit) was cancelled because of the pandemic but will return on November 22, subject to restrictions.