FIRM GOT DAVE CHEAP AT $10M

David Cameron’s main achievement as Prime Minister was to introduce a policy called austerity.

He was very keen that we should be austere. He was absolutely sick of people taking more than they deserve.

This must be why it turns out the amount he was paid by Greensill for promoting their company, was only 10 million dollars. And he did so well that the company went bust.

If you remember, during the years of his austerity we would hear him tell stories such as “Trafford Council spent £3.25 on custard creams for a meeting. Why couldn’t they make do with a cabbage?”

Or “Lambeth

Council wasted £25 on taxis in one week. Surely they know someone with a llama they could have borrowed and ridden that for free.”

So swimming pools and disabled services, libraries and schools were shut or turned into flats, because we had to learn to stop gorging ourselves.

It’s heartening that Cameron still believes in the principle of austerity, and like a Buddhist monk living up a Tibetan mountain, he understands that if you can scrape by on 10 million bucks as a reward for ruining something, the austerity will have cleansed his spirit and

refreshed his soul.