Curling’s all part of the slide show

I love the Winter Olympics, but it should be called Sixty-eight Different Ways of Sliding.

Commentators gasp with excitement: “Now we’re going over to the qualifying round for Hurtling Down a Mountain on a Sideboard.”

So for me, the most exciting part is the curling.

How was such a sport ever invented?

One icy day, someone must have been sat indoors in a cabin, trapped in miles of ice. And they suggested: “Instead of trying to keep warm, let’s paint some circles on the ice and slide some round stones towards it while arsing about with a broom.”

And because someone had opened all the windows and doors, everyone was so do-lally with cold that they agreed.