RISHI’S AMAZING CASHBACK DEAL

ENERGY bills are to rise by around £800 to £2,000 a year for the average family.

So chancellor Rishi Sunak announced that each household will receive a “discount” of £200. But this offer is slightly unusual, because you have to pay the discounted bit back later.

This is a wonderful new way to make things cheaper.

All shops should try this. Currys can say “Take advantage of our AMAZING discount off washing machines. They are now ONLY FIVE POUNDS, apart from the £450 you have to pay after you’ve bought it, otherwise we’ll send bailiffs round and swipe all your furniture.” Hopefully the government will make a charming film of a happy family wondering what to do with their discount. The children can squeal: “Can we go to Disneyland, please please please.” Grandma can ask if they can spend it on putting the heating on, as the cold is making her hallucinate. But eventually the parents will decide to be sensible, and spend it on the £200 they have to pay back.

Because Rishi Sunak understands we’re all in it together. We pay the extra money, and the energy company shareholders take the extra money – all of us working together as a

team.