BORIS BEACHED

Boris Johnson has always wanted to be the new Churchill. He’s proved again that he’s capable of this because his government told us we were on the point of war with Russia. The next day they said the current situation could rumble on for several months without war.

The day after, they said they might have been right the first time.

That’s the sort of clear thinking that made Churchill so effective.

Everyone knows his famous speech: “We will fight them on the beaches. On the other hand, we might not fight them at all as who knows what might happen – life’s funny like that.” In the critical meeting to plan D-Day, Churchill was forthright in his opinion that “we must strike decisively and without delay. Oh, hang on, have the Germans gone away? Maybe we should leave it a few months. No, wait a minute, I’m looking at the map upside-down. What am I like, honestly?”

Foreign Secretary Liz Truss got the Baltic Sea mixed up with the Black Sea, which is further proof of the Churchillian nature of the Government

Because Churchill would often scream: “We will defeat Hitler and ensure that never again will we be threatened

by Mexico.”