Sunday Mirror

Jellyfisha­re immigrants

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Swarms of poisonous Portuguese men o’ war jellyfish have washed up along the coast of Wales.

This is especially disturbing, as we can be certain that Priti Patel will announce: “I have ordered the Navy into the Atlantic, to protect our borders by firing torpedoes at these unwanted Portuguese immigrants, who want only to sting us all while we sing the National Anthem.”

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