Mum gave me the willpower to fight my cocaine and food addictions
Day. She calls him “a charmer” and reveals he gave her a red rose for Valentine’s Day. He also organised a surprise birthday trip to see Mamma Mia The Party at The O2 – and treated her to a coat.
The gifts are a measure of how much progress Arg has made.
He continues: “Before, when I wasn’t in a good place. I wouldn’t have thought to organise nice things and make plans and do trips and be thoughtful with gifts. Now I’m in a good place. I’m caring and generous.
“My mum does help me around the house. She gives me her time and in return I make sure I get bits of shopping in and cook her nice meals.”
Patricia says she was worried stiff during Arg’s dark moments and even sought therapy herself.
She says: “I didn’t recognise him when he had put all that amount of weight on and I was just so worried.
“It was his health. I was petrified. Now I feel like we’re closer as a family. He’s getting on, looking after himself.” But having to step away in order to help aid his recovery was the hardest thing she has ever done. Patricia feared it could backfire and push him into an even darker place.
She adds: “I’m a softy. Obviously, I loved him unconditionally but through learning about addiction, I wasn’t actually helping him.
“I had to walk away; realise I can’t make him better. It was scary because I’ve never turned my back on him.”
But Arg is grateful his mother did just that. He says: “You need to realise no one else can make it better. You gotta wanna do it yourself.
“You have to realise when, as an addict, there have to be consequences for you when you are using. For example, if my mum was going to be there every day and treat me the same, there’s no consequence in order for me to stop using.
“When people distance themselves from me and say, ‘I’m taking a step back or a step away’, that’s when you feel, ‘Oh no, I need to change because I’m losing people around me.’
“Mum was advised by therapists to take a step back and it’s tough because it’s not natural. It was difficult.”
Despite falling off the drink wagon last month – “a blip”, says Arg – he and Patricia see a bright future.
They are giving his old clothes to charity shops.
Arg has also set two goals – to swim the English Channel and hit greater musical heights with his party band. And with another nod to Mother’s Day, he says: “I think the best way of thanking my mum is by continuing to work hard on my recovery – continuing to be happy, healthy, to attend meetings and to keep doing what I’m doing, I think that’s the best gift you can give your mother really, isn’t it?”
It has been one hell of a journey but I have got my son back now
MUM PATRICIA ON ARG’S ADDICTION BATTLES