Stars’ row is Depply disturbing

Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s divorce squabble has reached a point where they’re suing each other for squillions of pounds for accusing each other of having violent personality disorders.

They keep increasing the stakes, so the next stage will be when Amber accuses Johnny of flying the planes into the Twin Towers. Then his lawyers will argue it was Amber who invaded Ukraine.

Johnny will insist she has ‘French Arsonist Syndrome’ which is why she set fire to Joan of Arc.

Then Amber will scream that he left his muddy boots in the hall, then it will REALLY kick off.