DNA test present led me to lost sister after 56 years
EXCLUSIVE
SIBLINGS Diane Ward and Mary Mclaughlin grew up going to the same shops, eating at the same restaurants, swimming in the same pool.
But the Americans never met. And neither of them knew they had a sister.
When Diane moved to the UK years later, the chances of them ever meeting were tiny.
Then a DNA test – a Christmas gift for Diane – unlocked their family history and sparked a reunion 56 years in the making.
Just weeks ago, they finally met for the first time after Diane flew to North Carolina to be greeted at the airport by her younger sister.
Emotional Mary, 56, said: “It felt like pure joy. Just to be together and put my hands on my big sister’s face and hug her.”
NERVOUS
Mother-of-two Diane, 59, said: “Tears flowed as I hugged my little sister.
“It was amazing to finally see her in person. I was too excited to be nervous ahead of our first meeting, while Mary was a little more cautious. But then I met Mary and now I feel like I have everything.”
During a beach holiday with their husbands in the US, the sisters spent hours – days even – talking about their lost years and filling in the gaps from their childhood days.
Diane was born in Wayne County, Michigan, in June 1963 and Mary was born in the same hospital in September 1965.
Their mother was Marion Crutchfield, one of three children to Methodist parents, John and Edith. John died in 1962 – the year Marion first got pregnant.
Diane, who lives in Uffculme, Devon, said: “Our mum was 17 and a bright high school student when she fell pregnant with me.
“I don’t know anything about my father, as in Michigan birth records are sealed and I would have to go to court to access them.
“I have learned my mum and Edith cried as she signed the adoption papers.
“From what I have been told, my grandmother was a cold person and there would be no way Marion could have kept me.”
Aged just one month, Diane was adopted by Martha, now 87, and husband Warren, 89.
She was raised in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, but went on holiday most years to visit extended relatives near Wayne County.
It was just 12 miles from where Mary lived with her own adoptive parents, after she was also given up by Marion.
Mary says: “It turns out we’d use the same bakery in the same shopping mall. We’d also go to the same restaurants. It’s just crazy.
HAPPY
“During the 1970s and 1980s, in our teens and early 20s, when Diane would be visiting her adoptive extended family, I am sure our paths must have crossed as we socialised in the same places.”
Diane had a happy upbringing and always knew she was adopted – but, as she grew older, wanted to know about her birth family.
She moved to Devon in 1999 to be with her husband Steve, who died in 2013.
A year later, she would meet Colin – and they married in 2017.
Diane says: “My Christmas present to myself that year was a MyHeritage DNA test.
“When the results came back to show I had a second cousin in Texas, I was terrified of making contact in case I was rejected again.”
But in January 2018 Diane did email – and second cousin Teresa introduced her to Mary.
They struck up a relationship by phone and Mary eventually took the same DNA test.
Diane adds: “She rang me and screamed, ‘We’re sisters’. We Zoom-called and clicked straight away. It was fabulous.
“Although Mary’s life has been different to mine, she filled in so many gaps about where I came from and who I was.”
Mary, a happily married mum and gran, is a special education teacher and lives in Paragould, Arkansas.
She could tell Diane was her sister as soon as she set eyes on her over a video call, saying “she looks like so many of our mother’s family, it was great to see”.
Mary said their mother had frequent stays in a mental health hospital in her 20s and 30s and underwent controversial electric shock treatment – considered an effective and acceptable treatment back in the 1960s.
Mary goes on: “When I was born, Edith set up Marion and me in a nearby flat. She got to know my adoptive parents, who were neighbours, and would often leave me with them.
“When I was five weeks old, Marion, a gifted seamstress working in a dry cleaners, left me with them and never came back for me. They looked after me ever since.
“I was never legally adopted, though when I was 10 they were granted legal guardianship. They wanted to adopt me but Marion would not give up her parental rights.
“Marion lived about a mile away. She tried to see me once a week but I hated it.
“I was two and she would fall asleep so I would walk home alone. I called her my ‘other
My dream has come true... it’s just sad that our mum couldn’t see the reunion MARY MCLAUGHLIN ON JOY OF FINDING OUT SHE HAD SIS
It was just amazing to finally meet her .... now I feel like I have everything
DIANE WARD AFTER SEEING HER SISTER FOR FIRST TIME
mother’. Edith, my grandmother, was horrible. I think after her dad died, Marion looked for love and became pregnant.
“My adoptive parents also met my birth father and said he was short and stocky, sullen, while Marion was petite, pretty, greeneyed, and with auburn hair. She was very clever and trained to be a civil engineer when she moved to Canada with her husband. They wed when I was 10.”
Marion later moved to Florida and died from breast cancer in 1991, aged just 46. Mary had to deal with her estate and says: “I remember thinking I wish I had a sibling to help me deal with it. It was a tough time. Marion tried to be loving but couldn’t do it. I think she had manic depression. She never told me I had a sister.
“I always wanted a sister and now my dream has come true. The saddest moment has been knowing our mother couldn’t be physically there to see our reunion and be part of it. Diane and I have this bond, this sense of each other that is so deep.
“It’s this sisterly connection that I’ve heard people talk about, but was never able to experience myself. I am so happy. I don’t think Marion ever got over giving us up. I am at peace with her as I can’t imagine the pain she suffered.”
Diane weeps as she says: “Mary looks like our mum, and I feel that she lives on through her. That comforts me as it was really hard to deal with when I was told she had died. I would have given everything to have her here. We’ll never know the pain she suffered. We are at peace with her as we have each other.” And she adds: “Buying myself that DNA test gave me the best present I could wish for. I finally know who I am and where I am from. ”