LET THE MAD AXEMAN RUN UK

At last the Conservative Party has done the right thing.

Having belatedly discovered Johnson is an unhinged liar, they’ve decided to let him run the country for two months while they work out who to replace him with.

Because who could possibly be better to guide us through economic collapse and a nearby war in which one side has nuclear weapons, than someone you’ve had to physically drag out of his office before he sets fire to Central London?

It’s the same in a school, if the headmaster is sacked for being a sex pest with kids. Everyone agrees he should carry on for a couple of months until they appoint someone without a record of fiddling with the students.

Or if the police find someone in the high street with a rifle and an axe about to go on a rampage.

Or someone so crazed he insists he wasn’t at a party in his own garden when the newspapers are full of him at parties in his own garden.

To ensure everything runs smoothly, it’s best to leave them in charge for just a couple of short months while we sort ourselves out.