Boris is villain of own soap

Who needs EastEnders when a real-life soap is unfolding in front of our very eyes?

If you’re looking for a drama which contains twists, turns, back-stabbing, betrayals, kiss and tells, testosterone and sheer pig-headed audacity, there’s no need to hunt out 80s soap opera Dynasty.

Joan Collins has been replaced by Boris Johnson, and the backdrop for all the drama is 10 Downing Street.

The political narrative is so absurd right now I’ve been reduced to saying: “Well, you couldn’t make it up.”

As an avid watcher of soaps, I can tell you that the baddie always gets his comeuppance in the end. Hope you’re listening, Boris.