Daft Nad is minister of skidmarks

Whoever wins, I hope they keep Nadine Dorries on in some role or other.

Maybe they could make up a post, such as Minister For Skidmarks in the Toilet.

Then she’ll be on the news every day, screaming: “British skidmarks are the best in the world. This is a great and exciting time for British skidmarks – they cover TWICE the area of the French ones and now we’re out of Europe they can be even stickier. We INVENTED skidmarks, I bet Keir Starmer’s never even made one because he cleans it all away with a brush, the traitor.”