Deals of the week time to
BY
SHORT HAUL
Tenerife from £560pp: Fly from Manchester on August 30 for a sevennight self-catering getaway at the fivestar Iberostar Heritage Grand Mencey hotel in Santa Cruz. onthebeach.co.uk Menorca from £799pp: A week’s all-inclusive at the three-star Hotel Globales Cala’n Blanes, near Ciutadella, comes with flights from Glasgow on August 23, 22kg baggage and transfers. jet2holidays.com
Egypt from £745pp: Save £330pp on a 14-night all-inclusive stay at the four-star+ Grand Makadi Hotel in Hurghada. Depart Birmingham on August 29, with 20kg baggage. redseaholidays.co.uk
Gran Canaria from £779pp: Save up to £300pp on a week’s half-board at the five-star H10 Playa Meloneras hotel near Maspalomas. Book by August 31 for travel from Gatwick on selected dates in September, with 15kg baggage and transfers. tropicalsky.co.uk
LONG HAUL
UAE from £519pp: A three-night B&B break at the four-star Doubletree by Hilton hotel in Ras Al Khaimah is for travel from Gatwick on selected dates in October, with 23kg baggage. Book by August 14. britishairways.com/dubai Antigua from £1,799pp: Save £100 per booking on an all-inclusive getaway at the five-star Sandals Grande Antigua Resort & Spa at Dickenson Bay. Fly from Heathrow with Virgin Atlantic on September 22, with 23kg baggage and transfers. Book by August 16 with code AUG100. sandals.co.uk
Mexico Pacific Coast from £1,093pp: Jet away from Gatwick on selected dates in September for a week’s all-inclusive at the five-star Hard Rock Hotel, near Puerto Vallarta. With 20kg baggage and transfers. tui.co.uk
CRUISE
No-fly Scandinavia and Baltic from £949pp: Join Britannia in Southampton on September 18 for a 14-night round trip to Kiel, Stockholm (overnight), Helsinki, Tallinn, Visby and Copenhagen. pocruises.com
Scotland from £799pp: Join Fred Olsen’s Bolette in Dover on August 19 for an eight-night round trip to Invergordon, Lerwick, Kirkwall and Portree. fredolsencruises.com
STAYCATION
Derbyshire from £584: A self-catering week at four-star Manifold Apartment (sleeps two) in Matlock Bath is for arrival on selected dates in August. Extra 10% off holidays starting on or before August 27. originalcottages.co.uk
Lincolnshire from £421: A three-night self-catering break at Butlin’s Skegness is based on a family of four sharing from August 19. Dining packages start at
£22.75 per adult, per day and £11.40 per child, per day. butlins.com.
STAR BUY
Malta from £379pp: Depart from Manchester and Gatwick on selected dates in November and December for a five-night B&B getaway at the five-star Hilton hotel in St Julian’s. dealchecker.co.uk
*Prices correct at time of publication and based on two sharing unless stated otherwise. that’s a lie. I walked into Squid Ink with an idea of a little butterfly on my ankle. But I walked back out again realising nothing looks good on a fat ankle.
So did I love it? Yes I did. Not just because Valiant Lady is a stunning, state-of-the art, eye bogglingly gorgeous ship. Not just because it’s a testament to modernity and stunning design. Not just because the food was some of the best I’ve ever tasted.
But there’s a “feel” to this ship. It’s a “happy place” where the 1,150 crew from 96 countries (all super fit and gorgeous) managed to turn kindness and smiling into a fine art. There’s no eye rolling when you ask for stuff, no polite testiness, no “I’m doing this for you but I don’t reallywant to”.
Of course these young people were doing what they’re paid for – taking care of us. But it felt like more than that. And that’s what Richard Branson creates every time he starts a new venture. He creates Happy Staff and that made us Happy Sailors.
Branson was on this voyage (71 at the time, with his sun bleached hair he looks like the eternal beach boy) and when I asked how many more of these pleasure palaces he was going to build he just smiled and said: “Well, originally it was just going to be four, but that’s what I said when I started the airline.” (Two more ships are already scheduled for 2023.)
So look out, complacent cruise world –
Branson’s coming after your business.
I’m not going to give you every cough and spit about every amenity and service. You can Google all that. But let me tell you what I loved – the gym for a start. The Husband’s eyes were out on stalks when he saw the quality of the machines. And on the top deck there’s a running track where you can burn off all the food you’ve eaten (but only if you want to).
Every morning there’s lots of workout classes (all free) and a five-star spa (which isn’t).
The restaurants on board are really top notch. Gunbae, the Korean barbecue place, serves food like nothing I’ve ever tasted (in a great way). Pink Agave, the Mexican restaurant, is fabulous. Ditto The Wake restaurant, which is inspired by The Wolseley in London.
And then there’s the Test Kitchen where Michelin-star chef Matt
Anyway, bottom line? This ship is going to kick cruising’s backside
Lambert serves up tiny plates of sublime, innovative food. There’s not enough of it of course. These super posh Michelin-star places always think little is more. It isn’t – but what you do get is divine.
The cabins were small but, having talked to people who’d cruised before, they told me the size is pretty standard. And the bathrooms very definitely are small. But if your budget stretches, the suites are gorgeous.
Valiant Lady has 1,330 cabins, 78 Rock Star suites and 86% of the cabins have a balcony – small but they’re enough.
There’s also champagne bar Sip, which I went to every night because it felt decadent and luxurious, just like the ship. Moet is the house champagne but anything else you want – it’s there.
Also there are so many places on various decks to sunbathe. Supersize couches, slouchy king size beds, although I needed The Husband to yank me off those beds because there’s no elegant way to do it on your own. If you’re peckish, tapas-sized plates of food are brought to you at The Dock while you’re topping up your tan.
But enough of the food. I need to tell you where we went. We started in Barcelona, stopped off in Toulon, then Marina di Carrara (Tuscany), Ajaccio (Corsica), Cagliari (Sardinia) and lastly Ibiza for two nights. We then had a leisurely sail back to Barcelona.
A warning here: the excursions are bloody expensive! It also needs to be said there’s a big emphasis on sustainability. Virgin wants to minimize its carbon footprint but none of it feels
preachy. Ditto as regards consideration of the LGBT community. OK, some readers will know I’ve been scathing of the way some LGBT activists are forever screaming about how they want us all to chuck out everything we’ve ever known to accommodate them, and if we don’t we’re all transphobes and bigots. Branson, however, has told his staff they can be whatever they feel comfortable being.
And by God they’ve gone for it. But it feels entirely right. It’s hard to describe without
sounding patronising;
suffice to say the young people I met are doing a fantastic job dispelling prejudices.
A tablet is used to control everything in the cabin. I’m hopeless with apps but the crew got used to me shouting “help!”
And I have to talk about the shows. There was something every night but the one that really blew me away was Duel Reality – death defying acrobats who performed a Romeo and Juliet type conflict.
The audience was screaming in terror because we couldn’t believe what we were seeing.
I make no excuse for the fact I needed a few glasses of champagne afterwards to steady my nerves.
Anyway, bottom line? This ship is going to kick cruising’s backside.