JACOB’S ‘SERVED’ HIS PURPOSE

At least Jacob Rees-Mogg has gone. He said he would only serve under Boris Johnson, but then immediately “served” under Liz Truss.

Back then he called Rishi Sunak a “socialist”, but when Sunak became PM he changed his mind and said he would serve under him as well.

If the leader of Hamas had become the PM, Rees-Mogg would have said: “I have always been a most ardent supporter of the Palestinian nation. My house-master in Eton inspired within me a deep and lasting admiration for firing rockets at one’s

Zionist enemies – an enterprise which I hold dear unto this very day. It beholds me to say I am of course willing to serve under the incumbent Hamas leadership of the party. One must rise against the Western oppressor!

“I will now repeat this in Latin.”

But he’s gone, so every October 25 should be called Rees-Mogg Day, in which children all wear a monocle and dance round a maypole in a top hat handing out presents.

In the future, some will say that this all dates back to Rees-Mogg, but most people will say: “Oh don’t be daft, no one that ridiculous could

ever actually exist.”