Paul said, I won’t be here, so do whatever you want to say goodbye
TELLY star Paul O’Grady spent a lifetime making people smile and told friends he wanted his send-off to be full of laughter too.
Paul, who died suddenly last Tuesday, revealed his wishes to his best friend Amanda Mealing.
Former Casualty star Amanda, 55, said in an exclusive interview: “Whatever happens, Paul’s funeral will be a celebration of his life and it will be full of laughter.
“He just told us to have a good time – he’d hate it if everyone was mawkish and morose. He would just say, ‘I don’t care, I won’t be here! Do whatever you want’.”
CURSE
In a moving chat, Amanda also: ■ Revealed plans for funerals and a possible tribute back home on Merseyside.
■ Told how she learned of his death in a 1am text. It came days after her last chat with Paul – about how to remove a curse!
■ Said her great pal lived “67 lives full of adventures” in his 67 years. ■ Told how days of tears had turned to laughter as loved ones recalled happy times with Paul.
Amanda was pals with Paul for 35 years and lovingly called him Savage – after his drag queen alter-ego Lily Savage.
Of his send-off, she said: “There may be two funerals.
“A small private one and a big one in a very grand place for those outside the family. I would think it’ll be in London.
“Then everyone can come to that and it gives people a chance to fly in. There are ongoing conversations.
“We’ve also been asking, ‘Can we do something in Liverpool?’ because obviously they very much feel he’s their baby. It’s so difficult.” Amanda learned of Paul’s death in a text from his husband Andre Portasio in the early hours of Wednesday. She raced to the couple’s farmhouse in Aldington, Kent, to comfort 41-year-old Andre.
Fighting back tears, she said: “Andre sent me a text at 1am. I woke up to it. I was just numb. I just couldn’t comprehend what the text had said.
“I just couldn’t understand it. As soon as I got myself together I went down to the house.
“Over the last few days, we’ve started conversations crying and end up laughing with tears just remembering ridiculous stories!
“On the first day we were all just wandering around numb and then yesterday I spent the entire day doing flower arrangements.
“There were so many flowers and gifts from people. Someone sent a video of a really beautiful sendoff at the Vauxhall
Tavern [the iconic
London venue].
The thing that got us all was
TWO
that instead of a moment’s silence, they had a moment’s cheer and that just set us all off. It was such a lovely thing. It just captures you.
“You think you’re okay and then something like that just gets you.
“It was such a lovely gesture to hear all this noise for him. It’s been an enormous comfort to know he was so loved. And for a kid from Birkenhead to have the Queen Consort send a message of condolence... speaks volumes. They had a great bond, but the thing about Savage was that he treated everyone the same, whether you were related to the Queen or a builder. It didn’t matter to him.”
Amanda spoke to Paul – godfather to her sons Milo and Otis – on the phone days before he died.
She said: “He was feeling great. He’d just come back from Thailand where he’d sent endless texts and photos of himself with elephants and things like that. He had a great time out there. I had called him up and said, ‘Savage, I need to know how to remove a curse.’ He said, ‘Right, what you need to do is light a candle, make an offering, you need to do this, you need to do that!’
“That was the ridiculousness of our relationship.
“I’m heartbroken for me because I’ve lost my best friend, but I’m not heartbroken for Paul because he absolutely rinsed his life.
“He got absolutely everything he could out of it and that is wonderful. He lived 67 lives with the adventures he created in his life and the things he did and the
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Paul had 67 years of adventures... he got absolutely everything out of life. He never had any regrets
places he would go. He did everything he could and he never had regrets. He said, ‘What’s the point? It’s done now. There’s no point regretting anything’. I said to Andre yesterday, ‘This could have happened with him alone in a hotel room on tour somewhere obscure.
“Instead, he was at home in the place he loved with the person he loved.
“I’m sure he would have said, ‘That’s the way to do it’.”
Paul, the youngest of three children in an Irish Catholic family living on Merseyside, found fame as acerbic Lily Savage in the 1980s and helped launch drag into the mainstream of entertainment.
He landed TV jobs as Lily – first on Channel 4’s The Big Breakfast and then hosting BBC game show Blankety Blank from 1998 until 2002. Then he became a star as himself – as host of daytime TV hit The Paul
O’Grady Show,
For the Love of
Dogs and Blind
Date, which was previously hosted by his close pal Cilla Black, who died in 2015.
Paul – who was awarded the MBE and won a hatful of TV awards – loved to work. He hosted a Sunday show on Radio 2 for years before quitting last year after being forced to share his slot with a younger presenter.
He was playing Mrs Hannigan in a touring version of Annie and had just filmed a wildlife documentary in Thailand.
Amanda admitted Paul was “upset and annoyed” over the Radio 2 saga, but couldn’t give up work. She said: “When he said he was coming back to do Annie, I said, ‘What are you doing? It’s not even like it’s the West End!’ He said, ‘Oh, I can’t help myself !’ And he couldn’t. There was absolutely no need for him to be on tour.
“He didn’t need the money, he didn’t need the work. He had loads of work. He just loved being on stage, loved entertaining and loved the smell of the greasepaint. That was home to him. It was nothing to do with the radio, although he was really upset and annoyed with the way they did that.
“It was dreadful and a ridiculous choice on their part. He was just doing what he does. He just couldn’t help himself but work.
“Nowadays everyone is media savvy and social media perfect. He wasn’t, he would just say it as it was and I think that was so refreshing for everyone. He would say what we were all thinking.
“He was everything you saw on TV, but more so. He was kinder, he was more loving, he was funnier.
“He was a national treasure.”
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We have cried for days... but then end up laughing with tears just remembering his ridiculous stories