GOVE AS PM, CAM IN THE BAHAMAS..OUR
IT’S June 23, 2020, four years exactly since Britain voted for Brexit.
It is a perfect Summer day, a Goldilocks day – not too hot and not too cold. Just right.
Prime Minister Michael Gove says Britain is brighter and sunnier since we left the EU in 2018 and he quotes Met Office figures to prove it.
Some die-hard EU fanatics claim this has more to do with global warming, but the PM dismisses that.
After all, he notes, today it’s raining in Paris and Berlin.
The weather has proved some consolation to Jeremy Corbyn, who left politics to spend more time with his allotment after Labour’s General Election defeat the previous month.
Sir David Cameron is not at all bothered what the skies over Britain are like, living as he now does in a Bahamas tax haven.
His successor has much to be smug about. Mr Gove ousted Boris Johnson from No10 in October 2017, when the former London mayor was making a hash of the two-year negotiations to leave the EU.
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re-employed in the newly independent Scotland, now in talks to rejoin the EU.
The only hitch is the Scots will have to ditch the pound for the euro.
Mr Gove boasts that his immigration points system has done wonders for the NHS and education since he awarded full marks to anyone from Europe trained in nursing or teaching.
As a result hospitals and schools are now returning to their old staffing levels and the number of EU migrants living and working in Britain is twice what it was in 2016.
Upping the number of Europeans allowed to come here has also enabled Mr Gove to keep the UK in the EU’s single market.
He’s very, very pleased with himself because Sir David used to say we would be certain to be chucked out if we prevented the free movement of Europeans.
And the new trade deals with Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan and Kyrgyzstan are bearing fruit – grapes and watermelons mostly.
Foreign Secretary Priti Patel is jolly happy because ending an immigration system biased towards EU migrants means there are more curry chefs in Britain than ever before.
As she never tires of saying in Cabinet, that is a vindication of her 2016 “Save Our Curry Houses” campaign.
Mr Gove is also delighted that the Spanish government allowed the 761,000 Brits already resident to continue living there, although they now have to do so without EU healthcare or benefits.
True, in the 2019 Treaty of the Costa del Sol, Mr Gove had to give Gibraltar to Spain in return. But the Barbary apes are settling in nicely at London Zoo.
Stars Keira Knightley and Benedict Cumberbatch could not stomach living in a non-EU Britain and moved to Hollywood.
But on the plus side Ken Livingstone kept his pledge to leave too. He was last heard of in Havana.
Illegal immigration has also been