NHS goes logo loco
SPY chiefs are returning to old school “tapping up” methods to recruit agents from a wider range of backgrounds.
MI6 boss Alex Younger says the Secret Intelligence Service still gets too many applications from macho types inspired by James Bond who think being able to shoot will land them a job.
“They may well be able to use a revolver but we don’t TORY cuts are killing our national health service.
Four out of five hospitals are now unsafe and lives are at risk.
Operations are being cancelled, we have too few nurses, midwives and emergency doctors and patients are being treated in corridors, temporary wards and even in tents outside hospitals.
Ambulance crews routinely queue outside A&Es and the £2billion gap in social care funding means hospital beds are blocked by old folk who should be back getting looked after in n their homes.
Theresa May and her er Health Secretary Jeremy Huntunt insist the NHS is safe in theirheir hands. But they are deluded,d, or lying, or both – as a Care Qualityuality Commission report proveded this week.
The State Of Our Hospitalsi l reviewi warns that despite the dedication of “heroic and compassionate” frontline staff the NHS is standing on a “burning platform”. And we need a tidal wave of funding to put it out.
But at least the managers at NHS England are on the case – focusing on the most urgent life-or-death issues.
Like the positioning of the blue and white NHS logo on signs and paperwork. “Identity Managers” have spent two years pondering where the NHS brand ( or “lozenge” in marketing jargon) should be placed in relation to the names of individual trusts.
After 1,000 interviews and 28 public workshops they’ve decided it should go above the name rather than beside it.
Because health bosses t hink inconsistent signage leads some patients to inappropriately attend A&E. Eh?
Cash-strapped trusts will now be told to redesign their logos to avoid “confusion and concern.” I’m certainly confused and concerned... at why taxpayers’ money has beene wasted on this loco logo e exercise.
How, in the midst of the greatest financial crisis in NHS history, have managers even got tim time to think about brand desig design? As th the Patients Association’s Katherine Murphy says: “This is not what patientsti t care about.
“Patients want good, safe care. We simply cannot afford or justify tinkering around with this sort of nonsense.”
Yesterday hundreds of thousands of doctors, nurses, patients and members of the public travelled to London in the biggest NHS demo so far.
They demanded a U-turn on £20billion of health cuts in Wednesday’s budget.
The only logos health bosses should be worrying about are the ones on the placards they carried. Save Our NHS. LA La Land luvviedom reached new heights of self-obsession this week.
At the Oscars a star-struck accountant called Brian got distracted while giving the eye to actress Emma Stone and gave the wrong Best Picture envelope to Warren Beatty.
There was an embarrassing twominute mix-up – which Stephen Fry could have smoothed over with witticisms had it been the Baftas. But Hollywood went into meltdown.
Ms Stone called it “one of the most horrible moments of my life” and poor old Brian is getting death threats and has hired armed guards. Elsewhere on Planet Celeb, Mariah Carey is “literally incapable of being in the real world and surviving”, while Jessica Biel’s life is soooo hectic she has to eat in the shower.
Don’t you wish they’d all just Foxtrot Oscar and count their blessings?
Especially Beauty and The Beast star Emma Watson, who reckons fans’ selfies posted online threaten her safety by giving away her location.
But she’ll be all right soon – because she’s rapidly disappearing up her own backside.