Helping scared kids love school

TEARS, tantrums and tummy aches come with the territory with a new school year. But they could be a sign your child has crippling anxiety.

Some children worry more than others – and it can be heartbreaking and frustrating for parents and grandparents.

Here, psychologist Dr Nigel Blagg, author of the School Phobia And Its Treatment guide, offers this lesson. FIND THE CAUSE Anxiety about going back to school is often caused by additive stress – when worries build up over time.

These concerns can be caused by relationships with other pupils, reading out loud or being asked questions in class.

Difficulties with a teacher or an aspect of your child’s school work could also be a factor, as could travelling on a school bus or worries about doing PE.

Starting secondary school is a trigger. You have lots of different teachers, different expectations and you find yourself with a whole new group of children. You have to get used to a bigger environment and some don’t find it easy to adapt to that change.

Or it could be separation anxiety – fears about leaving mum or dad. The start of a new school term is always difficult because youngsters have been spending so much time with parents over the holidays. BE CALM BUT FIRM go to school at all, then all sorts of problems can build up quickly.

They do not get into the routine, fall behind with work and worry about what teachers and other pupils will say.

With separation anxiety, the dynamic that usually occurs is your child is anxious and as a parent, you are over-attentive to that. This then makes your child more anxious.

You have to stay relaxed and not give them the impression you are worried. REASSURE THEM seem and will be dealt with faster by facing them. STICK TO A ROUTINE It is important to get your child into the school routine as quickly as possible.

Try to stick to the normal routine at your school – taking your child to school every day instead of sending them on the bus, for example, can create a dependency difficult to break. SPEAK TO SCHOOL If your child is really presenting with a lot of anxiety and worries, have a word with the school. They are usually sensitive about children with anxiety problems and can do a lot to help.

Speak to the year tutor if it is a secondary school or the head if it is a primary. Sometimes it is enough to tell the child you have talked with a tutor who will make sure they do not feel awkward. RAPID IMPROVEMENT Although your child might be anxious to the point of feeling sick, trembling or having severe tantrums, you can find their anxiety disappears quickly once they get in a routine.

Separation anxiety most often occurs in younger children. Usually they have one teacher to get to know, who is attentive.

Once your child forms a relationship with them, all is well. GET EXTRA HELP