Ratings hit but a loser for laughs

STRICTLY 2018 was a belter in the end, trouncing The X Factor in the ratings by an average of 10 million to 4.5 million.

But it was a very different story back in August, when the rather lacklustre line-up was announced.

Fame means fees and, with the Beeb anxious to pay everyone the same in the interest of equality, the big-name stars were sadly lacking.

Standards, though, were suspiciously high from the off. The Great British Public did not take former professional dancer Ashley

Roberts, from the Pussycat

Dolls, to their hearts at all.

Sulky

She might have made it to the final, thanks to the judges (and her admittedly amazing routines), but that did not make her popular.

Sulky Pants found herself in the dance-off three weeks in a row. Ouch!

Perhaps Strictly bosses had hoped comic Seann Walsh would provide the laughs.

Unfortunately, he was too busy snogging his pro-partner Katya Jones, to the dismay of her Strictly dancer husband Neil. Awkward.

The only real dancing dud was Susannah Constantine. She was about as popular as a blister in a sparkly stiletto.

Everyone else managed not to embarrass themselves. Shame. Ed Balls’ Gangnam Style, John Sergeant dragging Kristina Rihanoff round like a sack of spuds, Ann Widdecombe dressed as Big Bird... they were the stuff of Strictly legend.

The comedy was missing this year. Fingers crossed Theresa May signs up for 2019. Or Nigel

Farage.