Resolve to end silly goals
HOW are those New Year’s resolution resolutions going?
Has Dry J January sprung a leak yet? Was Veganuary Veganu skewered before birth by a hangover han bacon sarnie on Tuesday Tuesday? Are you ruing that pricey gym membership with the three -month cancellation ca period or is the mindfulness app a doing your nut in with w constant reminders to meditate and its cheesy mantras?
Stop S beating yourself up. This annual obsession with “new ye year, new me” goals is all a monumenta monumental waste of energy.
Most of ou our resolutions are so ambitious we’re sim simply setting ourselves urselves up for failur failure and a self-esteem esteem knock. Not ev even eight per cent of us will make it to December er 31 having stuck to a resolution. on. But if you rea really can’t do withthout a tickable list at the front nt of that lovely new diary, why hy not go for “T “Things I WON’T do in 2019”?
Because I’m pretty sure I can stick to the list I’ve made.
1 I will not be cowed by
TOLIVIA Colman has revealed her embarrassment at filming sex scenes for her new film The Favourite.
She plays Queen Anne, thought to have been a lesbian, in an imagined love triangle with two aides, played by Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone.
Olivia, 44, says kissing Daniel Craig’s missus, pictured right, was great “because snogging Rachel Weisz is, you know, like you’ve won the lottery!”
But to get over the awkwardness of tofu terrorism. I shall gorge on rare ribeye steaks and offal and not a vegan sausage roll will ever pass my lips. Greggs, how could you?!
2 I will never “reach out” to anyone when I can just contact them, or talk about my “journey” to “a better place” – unless it’s business class to a five-star hotel in the Maldives.
3 I will not Insta my dinner, cleavage, thigh-gap or cat. Or, indeed join the social media site.
4 I will not wear a bucket hat, a denim vest or a mini fanny pack on my belt – or anything else described as a 2019 must-have by a “fashionista”.
5 I will not date a man who wears shoes without socks or monogrammed slippers.
6 I will not watch any fantasy movies but may, occasionally, fantasise about Jason M Mamoa, the star of Aquaman.
7 I will continue not to give a mo monkeys about Love Island.
8 I will not ask Alexa anything b because she’s bloody useless.
I have lots more won’ts on my New Year list but I won’t go on as you’ve probably got better things to do.
Even if it is sipping a m mineral water and mindfully ea eating a vegan sausage roll while we wearing Lycra.
simulating sex the three actresses decided to play party games.
“We’d rolled on the floor, giggled and eaten together and shared everything,” she said. “So it was like, ‘Come on, we can do it.’”
Sounds great fun.
Maybe we should all try party games to get in the mood for rump-pumpy.
Pass the Parcel, Under Over, or how about the Hokey Cokey? “In, out, in, out, shake it all about.” Best to avoid Pin the Tail On The Donkey, though.