Help kids beat mental trauma
WHEN Ian Russell’s daughter Molly killed herself aged 14 his world was turned upside down.
She’d packed her school bag the night before. In the morning he discovered her suicide note.
After her death Ian discovered his daughter had been looking at posts on Instagram, which glorified self-harm and suicide.
Last week he said he believed the site was partly responsible for her death.
So what do you do if you suspect your child may be depressed, spending too much time on social media or suffering in silence psychologically?
Statistics show 70 per cent of children and adolescents with mental health problems are not helped early enough.
Here Jo Hardy, head of parent services at mental health charity Youngminds, gives her advice. Spot the signs
Every child is unique so we tell parents to l ook out f or abnormalities. If there is either a sudden change in their mood or behaviour, or a slow and gradual decline that doesn’t pick up, it may be time to seek help.
Warning signs include losing interest in things they previously enjoyed, shunning friends, sleeping more or less, eating more or less, or being constantly irritable or upset. Communicate
The earlier you can establish good communications with your child, the better. We try to encourage parents to spend 20 minutes a week with their children, doing something they enjoy, to check in and talk about things.
Frequency and regularity is important – making sure the door is always open.
Give them messages of support so that when they need to turn to you they know you will be there for them.
Key phrases
It can be difficult to talk to your child about their mental health. Try Tr not to sit them down and interrogate them. them Gentle conversations satio in the car, or if y you’re cooking together toge or walking the dog d might be better. U Use phrases to try to draw them out, such as: “I might not understand what is going on for you right now but I’m willing to do everything I can.”
Or: “If you talk to me about what’s worrying you, I’m going to do my best to help you.”
Or: “I’m on your side, I can see things are difficult. Is there something you need from me?”
Involve them and ask them what they think would help. Seek help
Don’t be afraid to visit your GP alone if you are worried.
Make notes about behaviour that concerns you, how long it has been going on and the impact it is having on your life.
Your GP can refer you to child and adolescent mental health services.
Our helpline has access to clinicians so we can call parents back with clinical advice.
If you reach a critical point, you can always take your child to A&E, where a crisis team will be available.
Discuss social media
It is really important that parents support their children to make good decisions about what they’re viewing.
You have a right as a parent to ask questions and it is important to do that as early as possible. Ask them what they are looking at, how it makes them feel. Are there things they should avoid?
An outright ban is often impractical because they can just become secretive.
The free Youngminds helpline for parents takes 13,000 calls a year and gives free advice to parents and carers worried about a child or a young person under 25. Ring 0808 802 5544 or visit youngminds.org.uk.