Keep serving up Sugar’s chumps
Tytyty tytyty
DID you know that if you cut an Apprentice candidate in half, ambition seeps out of the blood? Quick, get the first aid kit out. accurate descriptions: chancers, posers, brown nosers, bullsh**ers and schmoozers.
Funnily enough, all the people Lord Sugar doesn’t like.
And yet, he will invest £250,000 into one of their businesses. I wouldn’t trust any of them with my five-year-old’s piggy bank.
Things got off to a dramatic start with the 16 suited- up egos told they were straight off to Cape Town in South Africa.
They had to set up, sell and run a guided tour, giving clients an unforgettable experience or their money back. Unforgettable is right.
“Ow can we lose?” said gorblimey geezer Thomas. “Get there, smash it, go and have a nice bit of dinner.”
This is a clue that someone is on a fast track to a mug of tea in the caff.
The boys’ team didn’t sell all of their tickets to their brilliant safari tour, which would definitely feature the Big Five African animals.
Because we all know how easy it is to guarantee the scheduled arrival time of a wild elephant. Meanwhile, the girls were taking part in a Benny Hill sketch to find the wine cellar, while Lottie kept banging on about working in the UK’S best wine bar. No wonder the others got sour grapes.
The girls’ team won in the end, by a tiny margin, and skipped off to drink champagne in their luxury home while the boys entered into some “unprofessional squabbling” as Sugar put it.
Finally, Shaheen and his Shamstrad dreams departed in the black cab of shame.
Long in the tooth it may be but it’s a formula I love. From the wheelie suitcases and early morning wake-up calls with pants and bed hair, to the East End comedy sideshow from Sugar and withering put-downs from Claude Littner and Karren Brady.
Bring on the cringe- worthy pitches, childish bickering and Lord Sugar saying “shambles” a lot. As long as he’s happy to part with his cash, I’ll be tuning in. THE togaclad idiots of
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