‘I was anxious my friends would drop me’
eaching assistant Nicolle Birkin, 27, from Birmingham, has sons Toby, five, and three-month-old Freddie with boyfriend Paul, 37.
I’d always wanted to be a young mum. I love children and have a natural maternal instinct. But it was still a surprise to discover, on Christmas Day, that I was pregnant at 22.
I even asked my mum to read the pregnancy test, as I was too scared to look. Although I was thrilled and felt ready – and happily settled with Paul – I was fearful of the unknown and scared of being judged by others. But it felt like a natural step.
I’d endured a bad relationship previously, so I knew Paul was the real deal. Plus, he’s 10 years older, so we didn’t want to wait. But none of my friends had babies, so there wasn’t anyone I could talk to who’d understand. I felt anxious that they’d drop me. Seeing them go out socialising, heading off to uni and going travelling while I was at home with the baby made me think, “What if it’s always like this?”
But as Toby was the first baby in my friendship group, they all fussed over him and it felt special. If I felt lonely, my friends rallied round. At 3am, they were out on the town in skimpy dresses and I was consoling a crying baby. But we were still there for each other.
I lacked confidence initially and often took Toby to the doctors, worried something was wrong. I didn’t go to baby groups as I was worried I wouldn’t fit in. I’m far more relaxed this time around with Freddie.
The best thing about being a young mum is having the energy to play with my boys. I run around playgrounds and bounce on the trampoline with them. Even when I had a newborn, I was never exhausted. I lost my baby weight quickly and was back in my size 10 jeans within three weeks.
I’m Toby’s mum first, but we’re friends too and have lots of fun. When he goes to high school, I’ll be able to relate because it wasn’t long ago I went myself. I love knowing that my family is complete, and hopefully I’ll be around for my boys for a good long time.