‘I’ll ask Meghan to find me a mentor!’
Mental health influencer Bryony Gordon on royal friendships, body positivity and telling her daughter about her alcoholism
Bryony Gordon’s Instagram account and books have become a safe haven for many women, thanks to her refreshing honesty. The 41-year-old, who’s now sober following a battle with alcoholism, talks regularly about her mental health issues and learning to love her body after living with an eating disorder.
Since attending rehab in 2017, she enjoys a calmer chaos with husband Harry Wilson and their eight-year-old daughter Edie at home in south London.
She also happens to count the Duke and Duchess of Sussex as close friends, after Prince Harry became the first royal to speak openly about mental health issues for Bryony’s podcast, Mad World, four years ago.
“It’s not crazy to me, it’s just become really normal,” she says of her relationship with the couple. “They’re just good friends.”
Meghan even asked Bryony to get involved in her 40x40 mentoring scheme.
“I do a lot of mentoring anyway so it was a natural fit,” says Bryony. “But actually I need a mentor. I’m in desperate need of some guidance, so I’m going to have to ask her to set me up with one!”
Here she discusses why it’s so vital to encourage young people to talk about mental health and shares her new healthy addiction…
Are mental health issues discussed openly in your home?
Yes, because I was a child the first time I got really unwell and we know that around 40% of people who experience mental illness in their lives will have experienced it by the time they turn 14. You can’t stop them from having that experience but you can let them know that if they do, it’s normal.
How did you broach the subject with your daughter Edie?
I’ve taken antidepressants since I was a child and one day my daughter asked why I needed them. I tried to explain that there was something in my head and I needed to take this medicine to make it better. I’ve also told her that I’m allergic to alcohol, as it makes me a bit mad and run around naked. She said to me, “You do that anyway!” [Laughs] I answer her questions in the best way I can when necessary, but at the same time she’s a child and just wants to play.
‘I just don’t have the desire to waste any more of my life hating myself’
How has parenting changed for you since being sober?
My daughter started school the day after I started rehab. From early on I had to explain to her that her family might seem a bit different to those of the other children in her class. I was conscious that this really big thing was happening in my life, but also something huge for her. I was full of shame, regret and horror at how I’d behaved, often putting alcohol first and going on binges.
By comparison everything is easy now.
And how has Edie dealt with it?
She has always been empathetic and understanding of differences. I remember going swimming at a local leisure centre and trying to get into a bikini that I’d grown out of. I said, “This is a bit of a struggle,” and she said, “No Mummy, your body’s exactly as it’s supposed to be. We’re all born as we’re supposed to be.”
You’re taking part in your second marathon next month. What do you love about running?
It’s a bit of an addiction. I’m trying to constantly capture that amazing feeling I felt when I was training for my first marathon. When I used to go out drinking I’d be trying to capture the buzz I got off the first beer, when really I should have just gone home. This is
obviously healthier. I’m not fast but I can run for long periods of time, and it’s become crucial
for my mental health.
What’s your secret to feeling body positive?
I get comments from people saying, “I wish I had your confidence,” but confidence is a trick. I don’t think it exists. We all have the same insecurities but I just don’t have the desire to waste any more of my life hating myself. It upsets me when friends say, “I wish I could just lose some weight.” I get that people do it for physical health, but a lot do it because they think they’ll be more valued as humans. Luckily, my daughter very much marches to the beat of her own drum. I’ve always taught her that exercise is about the gains, not the losses.
Why did you get involved with Haliborange’s #Itsallnormal campaign?
I wrote a book called No Such Thing As Normal, so it’s very much part of my ethos. I’ve always spread the message that we should just be who we are. We try to squeeze ourselves into this box shape of “normal”, but our legs and arms are flapping about outside the box. Why are we doing that?
BRYONY GORDON IS WORKING WITH HALIBORANGE, THE UK’S
NO1 KIDS’ VITAMIN BRAND, ON ITS #ITSALLNORMAL CAMPAIGN, REMINDING PARENTS THAT AT BACK-TO-SCHOOL TIME, IT’S
ALL NORMAL. HALIBORANGE REASSURES PARENTS THAT THEIR CHILDREN ARE GETTING THE VITAMINS AND MINERALS THEY NEED FOR GROWTH AND DEVELOPMENT AT EVERY STAGE. FOR MORE INFORMATION, HEAD TO THE @HALIBORANGEUK INSTAGRAM PAGE