Touch of swagger can’t be retouched

KIDS in America are paying people to retouch their school photographs, often without their parents’ consent.

So I expect it’s only a matter of time before youngsters over here are also shelling out to get their zits airbrushed out or the bum-fluff ‘tache thickened up.

As a spotty, speccy youngster I hated school photos. When the prints arrived the teacher would hand them out in class saying: “Don’t you look pretty Susan! Ooh, very handsome David.” Then just smile wanly when she got to me.

I was never a beauty, but I soon learned there are far more important things in life. So I really feel for today’s

image-obsessed youngsters struggling to conform to the phoney aesthetics of social media.

They should take a leaf out of Dame Helen Mirren’s book.

In an interview with Platinum magazine this week the 76-year-old star said: “I am not beautiful. Let’s get real. There are beautiful people – the rest of us, 95%, are not.

“But we’re in other categories: funny, smart, brave, inspirational.

“Forget the word beauty and find another word that applies to you.

“My word is swagger.”

Beautiful way of putting it, Helen.