‘I counsel people on their drinking habits, then open a bottle of wine’

Theresa*, 48, drinks heavily most nights after advising others on their alcohol intake at her medic job.

“Ever since the 90s, I’ve held down a very responsible job, while drinking heavily in my own time. I did a lot of clubbing – now I do most of my drinking behind closed doors.

I work at a general practice in a medical role, advising other people on cutting down their drinking habits. But when I get home, I’ll open a bottle of wine and drink to dangerous levels. Over Christmas it crept up to two bottles a day and the kids found me slumped on the sofa when I should have been joining in with their games.

Ironically, my drinking increased when I found out my then-husband was an alcoholic in 2016. I had a lot of upset and anger, and dealt with the stress of divorce by turning to the bottle. As my kids are aware of alcoholism, I’ll hide my wine in mugs so they don’t see.

I often justify the problem to myself by reasoning that I never drink spirits, and I’ll have one or two nights off each week. But then I ‘treat’ myself for doing well with wine from the corner shop. I can never not finish a bottle once it’s open. I’ve probably been over the limit driving my children to school, and when heading to work. Luckily nothing bad happened, but I’m full of shame and self-disgust. I know I have a problem.

If I confessed to friends, they’d probably be surprised because I’ve kept it so well hidden. I hold down a stressful job and run a home. I seem ‘normal’ to the outside world. I’ll moderate my drinks to just a couple when I’m out, then binge when I get home. I’m grateful that I have a professional job or I’d be in even more of a mess.

I want 2022 to be the year that I finally ditch the habit, because I know it’s going to catch up with me one day. I can’t keep on going like this forever.”

If you or a loved one have a drinking problem, visit the NHS website or drinkaware.co.uk for help.