Strong with the Farce

Starmer must stop jabbering and get real

NO ethics adviser. I’m sorry to mention this twice, I know it’s in that box directly above here. But seriously, no ethics adviser. I mean, come on.

It’s only to be expected really, I suppose. I think this paper wrote a while ago that Lord Geidt was considering his position. The sheer stress of it, trying to advise a walking ethical conundrum on what’s right and wrong. The overtime must have been ridiculous.

Labour should be all over this but, as discussed previously, seem oddly reticent to get stuck in.

Keir Starmer needs to “give it some welly”, says Angela Rayner. The man himself has had to tick off his Shadow Cabinet for briefing that he’s a bit boring. Ominous signs. This was the big worry – well, one of the big worries around Mr Starmer.

Puzzled

It’s fine defining yourself against your opponent, “at least I’m not… etc”. But at some point voters are going to accept that and move on to the next question: If you’re not that, then what are you?

Mr Starmer is in front, according to polling, on key issues around leadership: he’s ahead on the problems facing Britain, being an honest person and capable leadership. That’s great and a good position to be in. But away from the numbers, when you ask people what does he mean to you, what is Labour about, there’s a puzzled response.

It still doesn’t justify PMQS this week. I don’t know if you saw it – probs not, given there’s a heatwave and it’s better being outside. Mr Starmer tried a few jokes – a terrible one about Love Island and a marginally better one about Star Wars: “The problem is the Force just isn’t with him, he thinks he’s Obi-wan Kenobi, the truth is he’s Jabba the Hutt.” (This in the week there was a memorial for Barry Cryer. How badly Mr Starmer’s one-liners could do with the Baz treatment.)

It brought back memories of that time whoever it is decides these things decided Gordon Brown could do with a softer image. Real miscalculation.

The bloke had just navigated the financial crisis and was set to do great things. Then someone felt he should tell us all he liked Arctic Monkeys. I dunno about you, but I’d rather have a bloke in charge who has never heard of the Arctic Monkeys because he’s been too busy, you know, governing, to bother with the Sheffield music scene.

There’s a sort of belief that the public don’t really like serious. They equate it with boring. That you are either a clown or colourless. It’s not true. You can be serious with a sense of humour, as long as it’s an authentic one.

Straining to get laughs or to present an image that’s unnatural just comes over all wrong. One year, a few of us were at dinner at a Labour conference, joined by a relatively senior MP. One colleague was trying to curry favour with said frontbencher by going overboard with his right-on credentials.

As you do after a few beers, we got round to talking about “What’s your favourite film?” and, doing his best to impress, my colleague said: “Gandhi.”

There was a stunned silence before the MP said: “F*** me, I don’t think that’s even Gandhi’s favourite film.”

I don’t know what Mr Starmer’s favourite film is. At this point, none of us really need to.