Pregnant woman’s secret notes predicted her abusive husband would murder her
Tragic Amber Guichelaar’s words would help lock up the brute who strangled her
Whether it was teaching pupils at the local school or raising her own children, Amber Guichelaar was devoted to shaping young lives.
The 32-year-old was a committed Christian who had been inspired by the church mission trips she had experienced while growing up.
After discovering that language could be a barrier for some underprivileged families, she became a teacher and in 2020 she was teaching English as a second language in a middle school near her home in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Her patience and sense of fun made her hugely popular with the students.
Amber was married to Richard Guichelaar. They’d met when she was teaching Spanish at a school where Guichelaar’s dad was the principal. The couple had two daughters, aged two and eight months, and Amber was pregnant again.
Guichelaar worked for a landscaping and snow ploughing company, and while outside of the house he couldn’t do enough to help. However, at home he frustrated Amber with how little he helped her out with the family.
Amber’s birthday was approaching and when her sister texted to ask what she wanted, she replied, “A new husband.” It was a joke but deep down she meant it.
Guichelaar didn’t help with the kids or the chores. He was also on medication for mental
health issues he’d developed after suffering concussions that made him prone to angry outbursts.
Amber would admit privately to friends that his mood swings resulted in him breaking things. However, she continued to smile and make out that everything was fine. It was typical of the young mum.
Then, at 3.30am on 16 November, Guichelaar called 911. He was crying and sounded distressed.
“My wife isn’t breathing,” he sobbed, stumbling to get his words out. “She had, I think she had a… sweatshirt around her neck and she’s not breathing.”
He said he’d found her in her bed in their bedroom. The dispatcher asked if he thought that Amber was beyond being saved. “I do,” he said. “She’s purple and not breathing.”
The dispatcher then asked if there were children in the house. “My daughter’s right next to us. She’s right here,” he said. While their baby was in a cot in the bedroom, the dispatcher told Guichelaar to take the toddler out of the room. When paramedics arrived, Amber was pronounced dead – three days before her 33rd birthday.
‘He is dangerous… I’ve thought, am I safe? Would he ever kill me?’
A damning autopsy
Guichelaar told police he’d slept downstairs on the sofa that night as their bedroom was too hot, and he was woken by the sound of their baby crying.
He said he waited for Amber to give the baby a dummy but the baby kept crying, so he went upstairs to check on them – and found Amber dead. He suggested that Amber had accidentally strangled herself. But it seemed like a very unlikely explanation.
An autopsy revealed that she had died from asphyxiation and the medical examiner determined she couldn’t have done it herself.
The only person at home at the time of the crime who was physically capable of causing the fatal injuries was Guichelaar. Amber also had some abrasions that were not visible when she’d had a Facetime call with her sister just hours earlier.
Amber’s family and friends also said Guichelaar’s version of events kept changing.
He admitted that the night Amber died, he’d been angry with her for taking so long to lock up the house before bed.
And the bedroom had been hot because the thermostat was set at 25.5ºc – it had never been set that high before.
Amber’s sister, who had stayed with the couple, revealed that Guichelaar usually slept downstairs when they argued and wouldn’t have woken to the sound of his baby crying due to medication he was taking.
Plus, he never got up for the children – he always left it to Amber.
A police search of Amber’s car revealed notebook pages covered in her handwriting. Some had suffered water damage but it was clear that they were documenting the struggles she was having with her husband. “He isn’t someone I want around my children,” she’d written.
“He is dangerous… I have literally thought to myself, am I safe…asleep next to him? Would he ever kill me?”
Shock record of suffering
Amber talked about the violence she’d suffered and even listed Guichelaar’s angry outbursts.
She said he had beaten, kicked, punched and threatened her.
He’d also thrown a mug at the TV, smashed her mobiles, broken doors and slammed his fist into the wall.
Amber explained that Guichelaar controlled every conversation and that he did nothing to help her around the house.
It was a shocking record of the abuse she’d suffered and it was heartbreaking to know that she had kept it all to herself.
While she had confessed secretly on paper, Amber was trying to deal with it all alone. But her words, even after death, gave the investigators a unique insight into their marriage – and pointed the finger straight at Guichelaar. Everyone was certain he had killed her and were relieved when he was arrested in January 2021.
He was charged with second-degree murder and intentionally assaulting a pregnant woman. In February this year, 36-year-old Guichelaar pleaded guilty.
“Did you strangle your wife and kill her?” the judge asked him. ”Yes, your honour,” he replied. “And that was intentional, is that correct?” the judge said. “Yes, your honour,” Guichelaar admitted.
When the judge asked him whether he knew she was pregnant at the time, he confirmed that he did.
The prosecution said they couldn’t determine what had triggered Guichelaar to kill his wife that day but she had been in a violent relationship that had escalated, resulting in her death.
In April this year, Guichelaar was sentenced and made a brief statement.
“My wife was a wonderful human being, a wonderful mother, daughter, granddaughter. I’m ready to accept responsibility for what I did,” he said.
Amber’s mum, Amy Degraaf, said Amber’s sister had taken her two young children in and was raising them. When the judge shared his thoughts with Guichelaar, he described Amber’s death as brutal and senseless.
“What you did to your wife, your children, to the family of Amber and her friends, is beyond comprehension, quite frankly,” he said. “This was an absolutely atrocious and terrible situation.
You strangled your wife.”
He said Guichelaar was a danger to society and should never be free, then sentenced him to life in jail with a minimum 33 years and a maximum 100.
Amber’s family have spoken out and want her story shared so that other women can escape abusive relationships before it’s too late. They are urging anyone who is suffering in silence to reach out and get help.
Because when tragic Amber’s words were finally heard, it was too late for her.