‘I WANTED TO BE MISTRESS OF MY OWN DESTINY’
Siobhan Daniels, 63, went backpacking after her daughter Samantha left for university and is now enjoying her retirement living in a camper van.
It started off as a joke but the more I thought about it, the more it made sense.
“Perhaps I do deserve some proper me-time?” I pondered as my daughter’s first day at university approached.
I’d been a single mum since she was four and had a hectic job as a journalist for the BBC. I’d put my adventurous spirit on the back burner. But I was starting to re-evaluate my life thanks to impending empty nest syndrome.
To compound matters, my brother had died suddenly at 53 and I was experiencing a medical menopause after having a hysterectomy for health reasons. Ageism was rearing its ugly head at work, too. Instead of Samantha taking a gap year, maybe I should?
So at the age of 49, I sold the house, stashed my belongings with friends, bought my daughter a car and jetted off on a one-year, round-the-world adventure.
Taking a sabbatical from work meant that I had the security of a job to return to, but it was still scary.
I planned it all carefully, arranging with my bank to have a special account providing a daily allowance to prevent accidental overspending or theft. I aimed to cover 12 countries – Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji,
Canada, Brazil, Argentina, Bolivia and Peru.
Samantha was very proud of me, but she never let me live down the fact that I was late to meet her when she visited me in Australia. I’d been out on the razz the night before!
My gap year reignited my sense of adventure and helped me cope with the menopause, too. If I was struggling one day, I could simply pause and regroup. You can’t do that with a pressured job. It was such a liberating feeling. I felt totally ageless.
Crying in the office loos
I met people of all generations and regularly hung out with a group of youngsters taking the same route. They didn’t make me feel young. They simply made me proud to be the age I was and to have lived the life I’d had.
When I returned to my job after my 12 months, I initially felt more in control and had a stronger voice. But over time I felt pressured to conform and I couldn’t wait for another adventure as mistress of my own destiny.
Crying in the office loos one day, I felt like a broken woman. Then it came into my head: get rid of your stuff, the things you’re working to pay for, and hit the road. At 60, I retired from my job, sold my house in Tunbridge Wells, bought a camper van nicknamed Dora the Explorer and began the life of a nomad.
I couldn’t have done that without my gap year a decade earlier. It made me realise that I needed adventure in my later life and gave me the confidence to do it. Now I’m three-and-a-half years into my on-the-road retirement, albeit with nine months parked up in fields during lockdown.
My daughter is 34 and has a sensible job in advertising. She couldn’t be happier for me.
Scaling down has allowed me real freedom.
I’ve even written a book and become a champion for positive ageing and intergenerational connection. This year I plan to set up cross-generational dinner parties and mentoring for women. I’m also on a government advisory panel on ageing and ageism, and I spoke at a festival.
I want to be an inspiration for younger women not to fear getting older. Who cares about wrinkles? I’ve loved, laughed and earned mine. This stage of life can be freeing and fun. My gap year was the start of that journey.
‘I began the life of a nomad’