How trauma can make you stronger
Confronting even the worst past experiences could help you move on and change your future
Novelist Winnie M Li was assaulted and raped by a teenage boy while hiking near Belfast 15 years ago. Her story recently went viral after she revealed that each year, on the anniversary of the attack, she goes on a solo hike to help her deal with the PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) she has since suffered.
The author, now in her early forties, was 29 at the time of the attack, which she used as the basis for her first novel.
Distressing experiences, from bullying or bereavement to violence or abuse, can have a lasting impact and the past plays a big part in the problems we face later in life.
Feeling the effects of trauma isn’t necessarily about coping with a single event, says clinical psychologist Jessamy Hibberd.
In the UK, 3% of the population has psychological therapy
“People associate the word trauma with being shot or having come out of a lifethreatening situation,” she says. “But trauma can stem from any deeply distressing or disturbing experience that causes emotional and physical pain and which then challenges our beliefs and how we understand and live our lives.” In her book, How To Overcome Trauma And Find Yourself Again, she says the secret to dealing with such events is to understand and take ownership of them. “Life is short. It feels difficult to confront the upsetting things from our past, but once out of the stage of feeling overwhelmed, there’s so much you can do to move on, no matter how tough that may feel at the time,” says Dr Hibberd.
Sophie Dear, 37, from London, says
One in eight UK adults receives help for mental health issues
confronting her past helped reshape how she lived. “I’d had debilitating insomnia since I was a teenager. It was only through therapy that I recognised I’d actually experienced trauma – in my case coping with my father’s cancer treatment in childhood. As well as sleeplessness I had other symptoms like heart palpitations and IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). I was the definition of a ‘coper’, until I didn’t sleep for three nights straight and found myself on set in my job in TV, almost hallucinating.
“My GP recommended therapy. For the first time I wasn’t just taking sleeping pills but confronting the root cause for my breakdown. I was shown that my sensitivity was actually a superpower. I’d never thought of myself as a trauma victim; my dad’s still alive, after all. But validation of my experiences was an important step and now my life and health is transformed.”