Your trauma toolkit
Dr Jessamy Hibberd shares the steps to help overcome the past
SELF-CARE COMES FIRST
Give yourself some essential maintenance. Sleep, nutrition, and hydration are so important. Alongside hope and social support, these are the foundations for your journey to overcoming trauma.
BODY MOT
Many people use alcohol, drugs or even screen time to numb past experiences, but that keeps you stuck in “avoidance mode”. Trauma affects us physically – your body is responding to threat. Learn to feel safe again by exercising and using breathing or grounding techniques.
LOOKING BACK TO LOOK FORWARDS
Seeing what’s shaped your current thoughts can help you understand your emotions. Certain situations may trigger a disproportionate response, so
think about why you act like that. Was your behaviour learnt early on in life? Understanding your own experiences and developing a more healthy and rational adult coping mode will help.
COPING TECHNIQUES
Teach yourself to understand your emotions. Take ownership of the impact of the trauma on your life, and then take direct action to change things. Making sense of your experience will help you find ways to soothe your emotions.
TELLING YOUR STORY
Trauma may have shattered your fundamental assumptions about life, but when you write or talk about what’s happened it can help to create shape out of the mess and give words to painful experiences. Consolidating your memories will also make them less likely to pop up on you unexpectedly.
GRIEVING, LETTING GO AND ACCEPTANCE
You’ve got to grieve for your losses and make space for what you’ve gained. You’re not saying, “Oh, it doesn’t matter”, but accepting that you can’t change the past. Make your life about “redemption” – something difficult happened, but good came out of it – rather than a “contamination” story where things went wrong and life got worse. There’s truth in both versions; you can choose which one to focus on.
BECOMING YOURSELF
This stage is when you can consciously choose how you want your future to be – what do you want to do with your life? When you start to make active choices things will evolve and change.