I’ve been post­ing my let­ters in the dog poo box for TWO YEARS

ALF, 91, CON­FUSES DIS­POSAL BIN FOR NEARBY POST­BOX

Sunday Sport - - WILL BACHELOR ON TV - By NEIL GOOD­WIN

SOIL MAIL: Un­lucky OAP

Alf ‘lost’ fam­ily cards

and his rep­u­ta­tion WHEN short-sighted pen­sioner Alf Spence tot­tered down to his lo­cal post­box to send a card, he hoped he hadn’t missed the last col­lec­tion.

But as he popped the en­ve­lope through the lit­tle slot a con­cerned passerby looked at him with a stunned ex­pres­sion.

The Good Sa­mar­i­tan tapped be­fud­dled Alf, 91, on the shoul­der and ex­plained to him that he wasn’t stood in front of a post­box but had in fact posted his great-grand­son’s birth­day card into a coun­cil DOG POO waste bin!

Steam­ing

Par­tially-blind Alf, of Bedale, North Yorks, is now fac­ing up to the fact he’s been “ post­ing” his let­ters, cards and competitio­n en­tries into a box of steam­ing pooch turd for the past TWO YEARS!

The World War II vet­eran, who was part of the ill-fated Dieppe Raid in 1942, told Sun­day Sport: “I walked down to the post­box, like I do ev­ery week, and be­gan plac­ing our Tommy’s third birth­day card in the lit­tle slot.

“ A woman walk­ing her dog came up to me, tapped me on the shoul­der, and asked what I was do­ing.

“ I thought she was go­ing to cry when I told her. She held my hand and pointed out that the post­box was on the other side of the road.

“ I’ve not got the best eye­sight these days but even so, the post­box and the dog dirt box are al­most iden­ti­cal. They’re both red, the same shape and stuck on a post.

“ I bet I’m not the only pen­sioner to get con­fused. The bloody coun­cil should never have put them so close to­gether.”

Alf has since con­tacted Royal Mail telling them to can­cel their in­ves­ti­ga­tion into the hun­dreds of miss­ing let­ters and parcels he’s sent over the last two years.

The wid­ower, who lost his wife Bet­sie to the sea in 1989, said: “ I ac­cused them of los­ing my post, say­ing their ser­vice was rub­bish. I now owe them an apol­ogy.”

Alf ’s daugh­ter Su­san May, 59, told Sun­day Sport she was re­lieved the rid­dle of the miss­ing let­ters had fi­nally been solved.

The mum of four, from Lu­ton, Beds, said: “ Ev­ery time I asked dad if he’d re­mem­bered one of kids’ birthdays, he’d say, ‘ Yes, there’s a cheque in the post’.

“ When they never showed up we thought he was ei­ther los­ing his mar­bles or was just plain ly­ing.

“ So it’s nice to know he was at least try­ing, bless him.”

Empty

She added: “ What I’d like to know is why the peo­ple who empty the dog poo box have never won­dered why Dad’s let­ters are in there.

“Surely they could have passed them on to Royal Mail or for­warded them on to the ad­dressees with a letter say­ing where they were found?”

A source at North York­shire District Coun­cil con­firmed they had erected the red dog waste bins in June 2009 –– around the time when Alf’s mail started mys­te­ri­ously ‘ dis­ap­pear­ing’.

DIRT BOX: Coun­cil work­ers put a dog waste bin right across the road from the proper post box (cir­cled)

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