Sunday Sport

GHOST OF JACKO BUMMED MY MON­KEY

Ape owner fury at spec­tre’s sex out­rage

- By SI­MON DEAN si­mon@sun­daysport.co.uk

HE may have been dead al­most four years – but Michael Jack­son re­mains pop’s most con­tro­ver­sial fig­ure.

And his rep­u­ta­tion for the out­landish grew last night af­ter an out­raged pet owner re­vealed his MON­KEY had been BUMMED by the GHOST of the late pranc­ing pae­dophile.

Pri­mate fan Brian Clowes, who along with wife Beryl keeps two macaques at his Crewe, Cheshire, home – said: “If I could get my hands on the ghost of Michael Jack­son I’d wring its per­verted oth­er­worldly neck.

“Un­for­tu­nately, due to the very na­ture of ghosts, that would be im­pos­si­ble. But I’d cer­tainly give it a ruddy good ex­or­cism, or some­thing.”

Re­tired lo­gis­tics man­ager Brian, 66, said he was wo­ken on Mon­day evening by a bal­ly­hoo from the con­verted garage where he keeps his mon­keys – El­speth and Si­las.

He said: “We nor­mally don’t get a peep out of them af­ter dark but they were howl­ing and screech­ing so I went down­stairs to have a look.

“In some ways, I wish I hadn’t. I opened the door to the garage and Si­las was be­ing bummed by what I can only de­scribe as a sort of glow­ing, shad­owy thing. It was ob­vi­ously a ghost.

“The spook looked at me and that’s when it hit me – it was Michael Jack­son and it was mak­ing that bizarre ‘ woo- hoo’ noise that Jacko used to make.

“Then it sud­denly dis­ap­peared. It was the most dis­turb­ing thing I have ever seen but I imag­ine it was more trou­bling for Si­las and his poor mon­key bot­tom.”

Brian, who ad­mits he’d been drink­ing “a bit” on Mon­day night, said he came to Sun­day Sport to warn other mon­key own­ers their pets were at risk of non- con­sen­sual bug­gery by the ghost of Jacko.

The at­tack on Si­las would seem to con­firm that emo­tion­ally re­tarded sex­ual odd­ball Jack­son had formed an “un­nat­u­rally close” re­la­tion­ship while alive with his own pet mon­key, Bub­bles.

Bum­ming mon­keys is not the only es­capade that Jacko’s ghost has been get­ting up to, it would ap­pear.

Ear­lier this month it was re­ported dur­ing the Jack­son fam­ily’s on­go­ing £ 26bn dam­ages claim trial that Lionel Richie’s ex- wife con­tacted Jacko’s spirit.

The ghost of the singer, who died in 2009, ‘ told’ Brenda he “accidental­ly killed him­self”

The re­ports made no men­tion of any mon­key bum­ming an­tics.

 ??  ?? I’M BAD- ASS: Jacko’s
spirit took sex­ual lib­er­ties with ape Si­las ( left with own­ers Beryl
and Brian) prov­ing he prob­a­bly had it off with Bub­bles ( be­low right)
I’M BAD- ASS: Jacko’s spirit took sex­ual lib­er­ties with ape Si­las ( left with own­ers Beryl and Brian) prov­ing he prob­a­bly had it off with Bub­bles ( be­low right)
 ??  ??
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