If they can prosecute Hall, why not the Hillsborough liars?

I FOUND it very amusing to hear that Barack Obama kept calling George Osborne ‘ Jeffrey’.

Now, it makes me realise that Obama must be a fan of 1980s soul artist Jeffrey Osborne of On The Wings Of Love fame.

For all Jeffrey Osborne’s vocal talents, he was a bit bland and forgettable just like George Osborne, so it’s good to see the millionaire patsy put in his place.

In fact George Osborne’s real name is Gideon, which just makes you hate the posh git even more.

IN The Great Escape, just as David McCallum is about to exit the tunnel, he turns to Richard Attenborough and says, “See you in Piccadilly”, to which Dickie replies, “Scott’s Bar”.

Well, Scott’s bar moved from Piccadilly to Mayfair over 40 years ago, but given the throat- grabbing exploits of a certain millionaire about town, it’s probably no longer the sort of place any self- respecting escapee would want to visit for a chinwag about their time in Stalag 17 or wherever.

Charles Saatchi’s ( aka The Mayfair Strangler) domestic violence on the self- styled domestic goddess, his wife Nigella Lawson, was a particularly ugly little episode.

And, as odious as the behaviour was, what served to lift it up an extra notch or two was the subsequent backtracking following his acceptance of a caution from the police.

You know – Mr Saatchi’s, “I only took it to save Nigella the hassle” waffle.

As for the defence of his actions, well, apparently Charles was only trying to “emphasise” a point!

In that case, I’ve been in a few rough pubs in Manchester where there’s been a hell of a lot of emphasising going on – those poor lads banged up for fighting should have had the low cunning to use a similar defence.

Defendant: “Yes your honour, when I hit him with a chair I was simply emphasising a point.” Judge: “And when you started stamping on his head?” Defendant: “Ah, yes, that’s when I was trying to further underline the point.”

SEEING Stuart Hall being banged up for 15 months is quite sad for those of us who grew up watching him on TV and listening to him on the radio.

His use of Shakespearean verse, quoted while reporting on some terrible ruck of a game between Stoke City and Preston North End, could turn what, in reality, was like a World War One battle, with both teams lobbing long balls at each other and a scrap in the mud, into something that sounded like it might be worth caring about.

His infectious laughter on It’s A Knockout when some tubby bloke couldn’t get up a slippery ramp made you forget how crap the show actually was.

Although, to be honest, Stuart really let me down with his commentary on Royal It’s A Knockout.

I really wanted to hear him say, when Prince Andrew and Prince Edward were running down the course, “Now, here come the Germans”.

Sleazy

Sadly, Stuart has tainted all that work and pleaded guilty to an unappetising and sleazy series of sexual attacks on young women and children.

When you consider that a young lad who merely nicked a bottle of water during the riots got six months and some harebrained kids in Scotland got four years apiece for jokingly trying to arrange a riot on Facebook, there’s little doubt that he’s got off lightly.

Apparently, in law you get the sentence you would have got at the time you committed the crimes.

So this isn’t really about 15 months for Mr Hall – who’s 83 and won’t be able to go to the shop for a pint of milk in peace – but about the principle.

How is it that in the law, nicking a TV during a riot gets you a longer sentence than kiddie- fiddling? Who’s making these laws?

Another irony is that Operation Yew Tree – where we can go back to the sleazy crimes of Savile, Hall and Gary Glitter from 40 years ago, and still prosecute – doesn’t seem to hold true for Hillsborough.

It seems that when anyone calls for the prosecution of police, civil servants and politicians for criminal negligence, lies and cover- ups over the deaths of 96 Liverpool fans, we’re told, “Oh, it was all so long ago, let’s just get the truth and move on”.

It seems that there’s something very inconsistent with British law.

Now, while we wonder what went on in Stuart Hall’s case and ponder what the judge was thinking when he sentenced him, does anybody think that perhaps Stuart got his barrister to play his Joker to get his sentence immediately halved?

I suppose in this case we should feel sorry, not for Stuart, but his victims, and save our most heartfelt sympathy for that kid who wrote to Jim’ll Fix It to go on It’s A Knockout. WELL done to Mancunian actor Chris Coghill on writing his first film.

Spike Island is a coming- of- age movie similar to Quadrophenia, set in the ‘ Madchester’ era, about a bunch of 16- year- old Manchester scallies, who are obsessed with The Stone Roses and are desperate to go and see the band at their huge outdoor concert in the summer of 1990.

The look is totally accurate, from the baggy clothes to the daft haircuts, and the music is great too. It made me weep for my lost youth! Trust me, it was refreshing and a reminder that it’s well worth seeing a British film that isn’t about posh dinner parties or some sink estate full of plastic teenage cockney gangsters.