WERE DOZENS OF NAKED – ALL STARK NAKED – BLOWJOBS & THREESOMES LEFT, RIGHT & CENTRE!
NUMBER 1, OZZY OSBOURNE REVEALS BLACK SABBATH’S BEST BITS
ever imagine, all stark naked, and blowjobs and threesomes going on left, right and centre.
“I lit up a joint, sat down on a recliner between two lesbian chicks, and began to sing ‘ God Bless America.’
“In America, the chicks just came right up to you and said, ‘ Hey, let’s f***.’ You didn’t even have to make any effort.”
Banana
Another anecdote from his autobiography I Am Ozzy, sees the bat- munching warbler playing a game of hide the BANANA with an amorous female fan. Talking about bandmate Tony, 65, he says: “I remember one time during a particularly wild night in a hotel somewhere.
“Tony came running out of his room, going, ‘ Argh! My knob! My knob!’
“I asked him what was wrong, and he told me that he’d been messing around with this groupie when he looked down and saw all this yellow pus coming out of her. He thought he was about to die.
“‘ Did the pus smell funny?’ I asked him. ‘ Yeah,’ he said, white in the face. ‘ I almost puked.’ ‘ Ah.’ ‘ What do you mean, ah?’
“‘ Was it the blonde chick?’ I asked. ‘ The one with the tattoo?’ ‘ Yeah. And?’ ‘ Well, that probably explains it then.’
“‘ Ozzy,’ said Tony, getting visibly angry. ‘ Stop f*** ing around, this is serious. What are you talking about?’
“‘ Look, I ain’t a doctor,’ I said. ‘ But I don’t think the yellow stuff was pus.’ ‘ Well what was it then?’ ‘ Probably the banana I stuck up there earlier.’
“I don’t think Tony knew whether to be relieved or even more worried after that.”
I Am Ozzy is available from all good bookstores.