Babes want to keep keep-fit f**k vid hid

Dear Kyla, I’VE read how couples indulge in all sorts of exotic sex.

Although I’ve been married for 15 years the best I’ve managed with the wife was taking her doggy- style on the balcony of our apartment in Corfu.

Thing is, I’ve always fancied trying out a cucumber on her and was inspired when I heard a radio show about barbecues and sweetcorn.

So the other night after some wine, while the barbie warmed up, I produced a corncob as the missus was bent over the sink and rubbed it over her bum.

I then blurted out what I wanted to do with it and was amazed when she agreed. I soon had her spreadeagled on the floor, with the cob up her chuff.

She declared it better than my knob due to its extra length, and knobbly nature. Now I’m worried I won’t be able to satisfy her again.

What can I do?

TD, Essex

Kyla says… soon help you KEEP buying the corn, she’ll empty your cobs! Dear Kyla, THERE’S a bird in my local pub who is nicknamed Hoover, because she’s so good at sucking cock.

Apparently she once sucked- off six blokes in one session after hours.

A couple of weeks ago, I had a drink with her and she invited me back to her place.

She stripped off to reveal her 36DDs, saying: “Do you want me to show you why I’m known as Hoover?”

I just nodded, and then she took me to blowjob heaven.

It was fantastic as she took me to the back of her throat and I very quickly emptied the contents of my ballbag down it.

Now, I know this bird is the local bike, but she’s fit.

I’ve seen her a few times since and shagged her, and the problem is that I really like her now.

My mates keep taking the piss out of me, and I know she’s shagging a couple of other blokes as well as me at the moment. But what can I say, I really like her. What should I do?

PF, Sussex

Kyla says… I DON’T think this girl wants to settle down, do you? Just enjoy the sex. Dear Kyla,

I AM 20 and when a handyman so I didn't mind when my mum asked me to go round her friend's house to fix a loose curtain rail.

Her pal is divorced, in her late 30's and is quite good-looking. At her house I was on a rickety pair of steps to fix the rail.

She said to be careful and her hands on my upper-leg to steady me. I was only wearing shorts at that time.

Afterwards we sat and talked on the sofa with a glass of wine.

Slowly her hands dipped into my shorts to expose my whooping stiff prick. She took aff her knickers, laid on the carpet, spread her legs and told me to shag her.

I got on top of her and f***ed her. She demanded. I ejaculate on her tits and then sucked me dry. She now wants me to move in, but my mum would kill me. What should I do? JK. Yorkshire

Kyla says… YOU’RE an adult — you can do what you want. And if on doing I were you, I’d carry it!

Age 26, 36DD-24-34, from Lambeth

Dear Kyla, MY girlfriend signed up to one of those keep- fit and self- defence courses with a couple of her pals.

The other night the three of them came back from a session and asked me to help them practice some of the moves, and they set up a video so they could see how they are doing later.

I’m no match for these superfit girls and time and time again I ended up helpless on the carpet.

But it was fun having three babes in leotards taking turns to sit on me with their strapping thighs straddling my chest.

The powerful scent of their sweaty bodies and their lady bits in such close proximity began to get me quite aroused.

Then as I wrestled with one of them she put her hand on my groin as if by accident, and cried out in mock alarm.

I tried to apologise but the brazen minx just looked at my girlfriend and said: “Ah, I think this deserves a closer look.”

She whipped out my throbbing nine- incher and took it between her lips and teased my helmet with little licks and nibbles before plunging it deep to the back of her throat.

She gave me a great gobble for several minutes before my girl decided she didn’t want to miss out on the action and so she stripped off and pushed her pal aside to suck me off herself.

That was the cue for the other two to peel off their leotards as well and they began kissing and fondling each other on the floor next to us.

It wasn’t long before all four of us were one writhing mass of naked flesh sucking and f*** ing each other in every position imaginable.

Now I’m keen to show the vid to my mates to prove what a stud I am. But the girls won’t hear of it, How can I persuade them?

BK, via e- mail

Kyla says… DON’T be so selfish. It might make you look like a superstud but it’ll make them look like raging nymphos.

Dear Kyla, I HAVE just discovered that my wife is having an affair – with another woman – and is planning to leave me.

After 10 years together I thought that everything was OK with us.

But now I’m beginning to think that it’s all been a sham and she has always been a lezza. The funny thing is that our sex life has always been brilliant, and we’ve tried lots of “toys”, gadgets and different positions during our years together.

One hectic session occurred during a memorable holiday weekend in Devon.

We packed a selection of dildos and vibrators and went straight to our hotel room to try them out.

We started off with mutual masturbation, oral sex in the 69 position, doggy- style nookie and even a bit of anal.

After we had both climaxed several times we dressed and went out for dinner. But we were soon so horny we couldn’t finish our meal and went back to our room, stripped off and jumped in the sack again.

This time I pleasured her with a 10- inch dildo and she used a vibrator on me ( I love the sensual buzzing feeling in my bottom).

After a while we were so turned on that I just climbed on her and bonked her brains out for 25 minutes before I collapsed on top of her and we lay in a hot sweaty heap before falling asleep.

We woke at around 2am and had another shag.

This great routine continued until we left for home on Sunday afternoon.

I have tried talking to my wife about her lesbian secret, but she doesn’t want to know. What can I do?

RM, Glasgow

Kyla says… DON’T give up on her because her lesbo affair might just be an infatuation. Dear Kyla, MY problem is, and has always been, that I have a frightfully large member.

Doctors have told me that it is far and away the biggest they’ve ever seen – something of a medical phenomenon.

All very well, but unfortunately every woman I’ve been with has cried off in shock and I’m still a virgin.

How can I get this monstrous tool of mine wet. I’m 56, by the way.

HP, East Sussex Kyla says… USE a dating site and be upfront about it... you won’t wait long.

Dear Kyla,

I HAD a huge row with my neighbour’s wife over a parking space during which I called her a “slag”.

I saw her a few days later and, feeling guilty, I apologised and asked her in for a brew.

She must be pushing 50 but before I realised what I was doing I started to compliment her on her figure, and she responded by saying she thought I was a handsome guy. Then suddenly we were kissing.

She said she was going to suck me off and gave me a blowjob before she wriggled out of her panties and bent over the kitchen table.

As I rammed into her sopping minge we heard her hubby’s car pull up outside and she hurriedly left through the back door. Now she wants more cock and is threatening to tell her hubby if I don’t comply. Help!

WL, north London

Kyla says…

CALL her bluff.