IN THE KNOW WITH

SCANDI- hunk KNUT JORGENSSON is in trouble yet again – and this time it’s all thanks to his love of HERRING! The former flame of PINK OBOE guitarist WENDI FRENCH strolled into PATTERSON’S FISH AND GAME in Biddulph and ordered three kilos of the fish but insisted it was pickled. Fish seller JIM PATTERSON said we don’t pickle herring in this country – sending Knut into a rage that ended with him hurling a halibut at an OAP. Dirty! WHO is going to accompany pixi-ette pop strumplet KERRY LOOP to the ANDERTON POP GALA now that she’s dumped bad-boy lover JOHN KEELE? As everyone knows, Anderton is the big fixture in the pop gala calendar and the idea of Kerry going solo is unthinkable… especially after last time! One name in the frame is beefy bassist CHUNK PHILLIPS, though last time we looked her was up to his gills with the mumps – OOF! REALITY popette TINDY YATTER has been banned from her local gym for SHITTING on the cross- trainer, my spies reveal. The word is that the 23- year- old star of TANDY AVENUE was working out to REO SPEEDWAGON at her gym in Halifax when last night’s curry made an sudden reappearance. Tindy’s people said last night: “It’s true Tindy had a minor mishap but reports that she crapped all over the equipment are hugely exaggerated. At most, it was a little smear.” LOOKS like BARNEY FOSTER, who plays troubled HINCH LEECH in POPPY CANYON, may be over the worst of his little, er, difficulty. The 29-year-old ex of POFF singer GEMMA FURZE hit the headlines of last year when he bought a pile them clothes from MATALAN and set ablaze at CUDDINGTON BUS TERMINUS. There’s been no explanation for his bizarre pyromania but the word is that he’s responding well to medication and now touches nothing stronger than VIMTO! GOOD news for fans of animation show BELL END HAMMERS – a new series is being made by BOING! TV and should return in the autumn. The show, which follows a family of plasticine mice and their pet gimp has been a fave with stoners for years but was shelved in March by FORCED channel. I’m told former GAPE frontman VINCE HURT has been drafted in to play a relative who returns with exotic cheese! Squeak! SCORE PHWOAR! Photos of hot female players were leaked